Euro 2024: What happens if England actually beat Spain?

“It looks like it,” Biden answered. “It’s all because of the Prime Minister.”

Whilst you are un-curling your toes, consider what you might feel like on Sunday night if England beat Spain. Overjoyed? Obviously. Surprised? Probably. Drunk? Well, this writer certainly isn’t planning an early night.

But what happens when football does ‘come home’ and there are no more ‘years of hurt’ to sing about?

I firmly believe that it if England had a written constitution, like they do in President Biden’s homeland, then it would reserve the inalienable right for all residents to complain about football and yearn for a time (insert number here) years ago when it was better.

Ollie Watkins and Marc Guehi celebrate after the semi-final win (Image: PA)

Be it club or country, every single person who gives a damn about this sport spends a large portion of their time watching and thinking about how it currently isn’t good enough. And because these days nobody cares about balance or considered opinion – because there are not enough characters on Twitter/X to express it - everything and everyone must be the greatest, or the worst-ever, there is no in-between.

If England were to lift the trophy then a good half of social media posts made in the last four weeks about football would either be deleted instantly by the embarrassed user, or frozen in time as a testament to the flaky opinion on the emotional fan. And that includes my own, by the way.

If I recall correctly, I tweeted that Southgate’s late, late substitutions against the Swiss were “cuckoo” or something of that ilk. A few minutes later Ivan Toney bumped the ball on to Jude Bellingham, and the rest was history.

Life as an England supporter for my generation, which is old enough to remember Mexico 86 and young enough to find the footage effortlessly on YouTube, could be about to change dramatically.

To give Gareth Southgate his due, it is only very recently that we have started talking about the negative pressures of turning out for England, something he initially helped to break down by being so relatable himself.

His team continued to grind out results when most of us expected them to fail, and now they find themselves 90 minutes away from immortality.

If the President is right and England end the trophy drought, Messrs Skinner, Baddiel and the Lightning Seeds will need to find different inspiration because, in their own words, there will be no more need for dreaming.

And we will all have to find something else to moan about for a couple of years, at least.

ENGLAND VIEW – DAN BARNES

Shaw replaced Trippier for the second half against the Netherlands (Image: PA)

England’s left-back debate has been one of the major talking points since the Euros started last month but as they prepare to come up against Lamine Yamal, Gareth Southgate really needs to get it right.

Kieran Trippier has played on his wrong foot throughout the tournament while Luke Shaw was unavailable, but the Manchester United man has now made a couple of appearances off the bench.

It would be a big risk to throw Shaw into the starting line-up for the final, but is it one that England need to take?

Trippier has been a reliable servant to Southgate in recent years but is clearly hamstrung on the left, constantly looking to cut inside.

Shaw brings more balance to the side and showed some promising signs in the second half against the Netherlands, almost setting up Ollie Watkins with a wicked cross.

Whoever gets the job will have the daunting task of trying to keep Yamal quiet. The Barcelona starlet turns 17 today, although there won’t be any time for celebrating.

His composure is scary for someone with so little experience and that strike against France will be talked about for years to come if Spain get the job done against England.

Nico Williams on the other wing isn’t half bad either. His goal against Georgia was like when you mess around on a video game and give your player the maximum rating in every single attribute.

The midfield battle could well be key on Sunday night. The Three Lions dominated it in the first half against the Netherlands but things were much more even after the break.

Premier League fans don’t need telling how good Rodri is and the Manchester City maestro was instrumental against the French.

Kobbie Mainoo has been brilliant since coming into the team but this will certainly be his biggest test to date.

Declan Rice had an impressive season with Arsenal but has looked a bit leggy at times. His error was punished by Xavi Simons against the Dutch but thankfully, it didn’t matter in the end.

Southgate has silenced his doubters. Now, I’m desperate to see England make that final step and lift the trophy.

TV VIEW – DAN BARNES

Laura Woods presenting for ITV (Image: PA)

It’s almost time for the final and with it comes a big choice for viewers in the UK: BBC or ITV?

I have to say, it’s not an easy one. It looks like Guy Mowbray and Alan Shearer will be on commentary duties for the BBC.

I’m a big fan of Mowbray’s work and have also enjoyed Shearer’s input in recent weeks – finding a good balance between offering expert insight and reflecting the views of us average Joes watching at home.

As I write this column, I’m not entirely sure who will be wearing the headset for ITV but would expect it to be Sam Matterface, Lee Dixon and Ally McCoist again.

Matterface is fine but, in truth, I’m still angered by the treatment of Clive Tyldesley. For my money, there is no-one better to be working on big games and his rapport with McCoist speaks for itself.

As for Dixon, I just want to know why he always sounds bored (the first few games were a real slog, in fairness).

It seems I’m leaning towards BBC for the commentary, but what about the pundits?

I must admit, I’m a sucker for the classic ‘footy banter’ that seems to be taking over coverage of the sport in a bid to win over the younger fans.

Both channels have been good to watch in that regard. You can’t beat Gary Lineker as a presenter (although Laura Woods deserves a mention). I actually love Micah Richards’ enthusiasm, although I can see why he is a bit like Marmite.

However, I’m leaning slightly towards ITV’s panel. Gary Neville and Ian Wright’s childlike glee when England win contrasting with Roy Keane’s usual blunt take on events has been great entertainment value.

It seems like I’m going to be hopping between the two channels throughout the night, that is if I feel brave enough to emerge from behind the sofa.

Regardless of how people have been watching, it is great to see the numbers reported from the semi-final against the Netherlands.

More than 20million are said to have tuned in on Wednesday night and that figure is expected to be closer to 30million against Spain.