Wasps bring out the Mr Bean in all of us

Since then it has been occupied by blue tits, bufftailed bumble bees and — recently — a gang of wasps.

What is the best way to deal with this situation when it happens to you?

There was much domestic discussion because Mrs C favoured firm, decisive action when the visitors first arrived in the spring.

By contrast, I was inclined to let them to get on with whatever they do because I thought it better that their nest should take shape in the box — thereby avoiding a potentially expensive eradication exercise in an inaccessible corner of the house.

Eventually, as more and more wasps buzzed about near the washing line it became evident that Mrs C was right and I was wrong.

The following advice was freely available on the internet thingy: “The risk from wasps is particularly high towards the end of summer – it is preferable to treat a wasp nest earlier in the year before wasps become more aggressive.”

So, I set out to find one of those traditional hardware shops that used to sell appropriate weapons of mass destruction but — a sign of the times — I ended up at B & Q.

A section in the gardening area had a wide array of sprays and poisons capable of eradicating all manner of pests including rats, mice, moles, ants and, yes, wasps. After studying the can closely, I purchased some toxic foam and prepared for battle.

As you can see from the photograph, you cannot be too careful when it comes to tackling this enemy.

The hat, purchased many years ago during a holiday in Madeira, came in useful and I thought the black scarf was a nice sartorial and practical touch.

Mrs C, who managed to stop laughing long enough to take the photograph, watched as I directed a stream of foam in to the small hole where little birds used to feed their young in happier, less invasive times.

Then, as clouds of angry striped insects buzzed menacingly, we dashed in to the house and watched the ensuing drama through the window.

Large numbers were obviously dying, but others showed an admirable desire to carry on as normal.

The following day it was clear that some wasps were trying to re-build the nest.

That evening I dressed for action once more and gave the box another blast of foam. All was quiet the next day and the bird/bee/wasp box was taken down and thrown away.

Later, I returned to the internet and found to my astonishment that a number of videos have been posted depicting individuals’ battles with these formidable foes.

For instance, Gilbert in Texas (a bearded chap in a Pink Floyd T-shirt) sucked wasps in to a vacuum cleaner extension and other clips have titles such as “wasp nest removal by shotgun” and “bees nest shot with paintball gun”.

Others show three friends attempting to kill stinging insects individually with sticks and there is a mad English sequence as “Steve” and his mate deal with a nest in a wooden garden shelter with the help of long-handled cutters, a dustbin, a towel and an off-camera female voice offering advice.

Obviously, wasps bring out the Mr Bean in all of us.