AS we washed down the remnants of our moules mariniere with a carafe of house red in a harbourside restaurant, one thing became excruciatingly clear.
To cruise the Mediterranean at any time of year can be a gamble on the weather. The French naval port of Toulon made Eastbourne look like St Tropez, and Island Escape - our 1500 capacity cruise liner - was caught in a crosswind and going nowhere fast.
So all we could do on a Sunday was eat, drink and visit the Naval Museum, its walls lined with oil paintings depicting historic defeats at the hands of the British Admiralty.
Things had started out under much bluer skies. Our Air 2000 flights to Palma, Majorca, and a brief transfer to port for the ship's embarkation procedures had been painless.
Our seaview cabin was clean, functional and bigger than expected. We soon settled in - and began the task of exploring the ship for the first time with a fold-out map detailing an array of restaurants, bars, casinos and shops.
The three restaurants have unique styles which collectively reflect Island Escape's casual and relaxed approach. On this ship, you eat what you like, when you like, wherever you like.
The Beachcomber offers 24-hour self-service with a range of quick fixes from pizza to beef stew with a huge choice of salads and vegetables. The Island is self service but with set dining times.
There is an alternative if you hanker for a more gracious atmosphere. You have to book ahead for a table at the Oasis restaurant, but it's worth the daily detour to secure a table for two - and an impressive a la carte menu offering a wide range of dishes with themes changed daily.
The cost of dining elsewhere on the Island Escape is included in your holiday price but here some dishes carry a modest surcharge. For example an extra £10 gets you the ultimate surf and turf - a fillet steak the size of Gibraltar garnished with a slab of grilled salmon. The service is excellent and the well stocked wine list is reasonably priced.
The sensible pricing extends to all the ship's bars, with tap beers at £2.30 and house wine by the glass at £1.75.
However, it's easy to spend far more than expected on a week's cruise. No money changes hands on the ship - on embarkation you are issued with a swipe card that's charged automatically to your nominated credit card at the end of the trip.
Our itinerary took us from Palma to Malta for a half-day stop off in the capital Valetta. We opted for a 4x4 excursion that promised to take us to the parts of Malta other tours couldn't reach. They were right, and within four hours we had covered the whole island.
From Malta we travelled through the straits between Sicily and the Italian mainland up to Naples. On the way we passed the Stromboli volcano.
It is not as well known as a neighbouring Vesuvius, but in the small hours of that Friday morning it began to spit plumes of lava in a way guaranteed to see local property prices head south.
The next morning we arrived in Naples. Our full day excursion combined the ancient city of Pompeii and the middle-class seaside resort of Sorrento.
However, if you are the kind of person who likes a bit of time to explore their surroundings away from the crowds, cruises may have their limitations. Our coach was joined by six others from the Island Escape and just as many from a P&O ship.
Our guide was informative but the trip was too short, such was his haste to move us along to Sorrento. In Sorrento, there was only time for lunch before the coach returned to Naples.
That night we sailed north to Livorno and an excursion to Florence. We opted for an "At your own pace" tour, which boils down to a £25 return coach ticket for the 120 mile round trip.
It was the highlight of our week, from the splendour of the Duomo Cathedral that dominates the Old Town, to the Academia Gallery.
From Livorno we headed north and west to Toulon. As clouds hovered overhead, it became a lot easier to bag a sun lounger on the Island Escape's multitude of promenade decks.
We couldn't sail to our penultimate port of Barcelona thanks to that crosswind, and Toulon was full of cruise passengers killing time in the deserted Sunday streets ahead of our long voyage back to Palma.
The crew of the Island Escape did their utmost to ensure we kept having a good holiday. Onboard entertainment varied from West End medleys to comedy nights and cabaret, and the ship served as your floating hotel with an obvious dedication to passenger satisfaction.
Island Escape is billed as a budget cruise and as an introduction to cruising it works rather well. But the schedule is tight and your time in each port is never quite enough.
After all that rushing around, you might need another holiday to wind down.
TRAVELFACTS
Richard Ashdown was a guest of Island Cruises, which operates out of Palma, Majorca, from April to October 2004 with seven night cruises from £549, 14-night fly-cruises (seven nights on board followed by seven nights in a Majorcan hotel) from £779, and a cruise-only option, for those who fix their own flights, from £449.
Child prices start at £199 for under-12s, infants under two are charged £29. All fly-cruise prices are based on two sharing an inside cabin and include return flights from 14 regional UK airports, airport taxes, basic tipping, full-board accommodation and on-board entertainment.
For further information on cruising holidays, contact your local ABTA travel agent
Island Cruises information/reservations: 08707 500 414 or www.islandcruises.com.
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