AS Wanderers boss Sam Allardyce launched a scathing attack on the BBC's Alan Green for his claim the Reebok side are "ugly" Bolton Evening News sportswriter Neil Bonnar gives his own personal view:

HERE'S a sentence you never hear: "I want to be like Alan Green".

Personally, I turn off Radio Five Live the moment I hear his voice.

His apparent obsession with spouting vicious and unfair condemnation of referees finally bored me to the point of switching to Talksport where I can hear vicious, unfair criticism on a variety of subjects from a number of rabble rousers.

A Liverpool fanatic, Green was match commentator for the draw at Wanderers on Monday which ended Liverpool's 10-match winning run. Oh, if only their whining would end.

Somewhat not surprisingly considering his Anfield affiliations, Green was scathing in his criticism of Wanderers on his after-match phone-in.

When Wanderers fans might have hoped an unbiased national radio station would congratulate them on a magnificent result, Green condemned Sam Allardyce's team as ugly.

He wouldn't pay to watch Wanderers, he said. But how could he when he's already too busy paying to watch Liverpool?

As for being ugly, when did football become a beauty contest?

Wanderers got the credit they deserved from the local media, which has always been their only friend during the times they upset the nation's favourites.

Remember the slagging off the Whites got from all and sundry outside of Bolton when it was between them and West Ham for relegation three seasons ago?

It's a case of: "how dare little Bolton do this to us".

Rafael Benitez sounded like that when he launched into a torrent of name-calling after Monday's game.

Benitez was suffering from a classic case of Wanderersitis, a condition brought on by not beating Bolton.

The symptoms are easy to spot. Sufferers take on the manner of a spoiled child having a tantrum, temporarily mistaking Sam Allardyce for the anti-Christ, his players the forces of evil.

A bout of name-calling in front of the television cameras inevitably follows until the patient finally blows himself out and is carried off for a lie down.

Graeme Souness has struggled with the affliction in the past and poor David O'Leary is a serial sufferer.

Benitez had a rather bad case, bless him, as accusations were tossed around like toys being thrown out of a cranky toddler's pram.

It was much the usual stuff we've heard before: spoiling tactics, diving players, Reebok rules, long ball, strong arm, blah blah. You know the drill.

Managers usually feel better when they realise they are not the only ones with the problem. They should always remember, they are not the first person to be out-witted and out-muscled by Wanderers, and they won't be the last.

Wanderersitis lasts longer in some cases. The Liverpool Daily Post was still struggling to come to terms with it two days after the game, poor chaps.

Their team might be the champions of Europe, but they just couldn't get Wanderers out of their heads, collapsing into a heap of silly name-calling and dummy-spitting.

Some decent ones here, too. "Reebok bear-pit", "manglers", "firestorm", my own personal favourite "jack-hammer team of giants" and the long-winded but picture painting "they dismantle good football and reduce it to the basics of unending physicality, where opposing players are a primary target".

Look, you can cry as hard as you like, you're not having the two points.

Now be told.