WHATEVER happened to the days when genuine celebrities got married and there were pictures in the national newspapers for everyone to share their day?

Now, anybody and everybody who has ever been mentioned in the celebrity gossip columns signs an exclusive deal with a magazine, which goes towards financing an even bigger nuptial bash.

Last weekend, a couple of people in this naff category married, the most prominent (in more ways than one) being glamour model Jordan and her pop troubadour Peter Andre. They got £2 million (yes, I know!) from their top magazine deal, and it says everything about the way they spent it that she arrived in a pink pumpkin coach with white horses like Cinderella.

Bouncers with large black umbrellas, covered locations and confiscated mobile phones and cameras from guests are now normal at celeb weddings to ensure privacy and keep the cash contracts safe. Then the rest of us have to fork out a couple of quid each for the magazine later if we want to see coverage.

Frankly, it's just sad all round.