IN the run-up to Lokomotiv Plovdiv's trip to the Reebok on Thursday we received the following email.

"I am looking forward to my trip to Bolton to watch Lokomotiv Plovdiv. I will be staying at the famous Leverhulme Marriott Hotel in the exclusive district of 'Bright Meat' (I think that is how you spell it?) It is near Stitch mi Lane - is it a nice area?

"The trip has been organised by Mr Dobble Richard Head and he has invited me to spend a day with him on his yacht fishing for marlin on the huge lake called Crompton Lodges near a neighbouring city called Farnworth.

"In the evening we have been booked into a restaurant called Derek's Chippy where the local delicacy has been described as 'Pastie Barms'

"The trip is only costing me £800 for 2 days PLUS flights

"I think I've got a bargain - do you think I've been ripped off? I am taking 4 days off my job as a soft drink vendor

"Yours

Droppa Bottlapopov"

Steve Taylor

taylor1801@yahoo.co.uk>