Come in, lad," the dentist said,

"Sit thy'sel o'er there."

He pointed to a leather seat,

It was the dental chair.

"Now, just relax," he smiled at me,

"And open your mouth wide.

"I want to bung me mirror in,

"And have a look inside."

"Oh, deary me," he said aloud,

"Oh me, oh my, by gum!

"By the time I've done with this lot,

"You'll wish you'd never come."

"Now let me see," he scratched his head,

"There's a question I must pose.

"Would you rather be knocked out with gas,

"Or just have your gums froze?

"Which would be the best?" I asked,

A nervous quiver in my voice.

"I didn't know when I came in,

"I would have had a choice."

"I don't know, lad," said he.

His face looked full of doubt.

"You see I've always been too scared,

"To have my own teeth out." Ted Crutchlow, Lancaster Avenue, Horwich

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.