SIR: Having watched prominent dignitaries opening various new theatres, complexes and the like recently, it suddenly occurred to me that here in Bolton there would be ample opportunity to invite these same people. However, not for opening ceremonies, but for closing ceremonies. Forgive my quirky imagination, but I can almost see the Queen now, in sombre tone, standing in the rain on Bridge Street announcing: "After many years of great public service, and coming to the aid of many in their moment of need, it gives me great sadness to declare these lavvies - closed."

One can almost see a similar scene at Bolton Royal Infirmary, this time with the Queen Mother detonating a switch, thus condemning the building to a pile of rubble, saying: "Oh dear, I seem to have got something in my eye." A council chaperone rushes to her side and grovels: "I'm desperately sorry Ma'am. There's nothing we can do to help, there isn't a hospital for miles."

And who better to invite to the closing ceremony of Silverwell Street Sports Centre, than Prince Charles? "To close this wonderful old building gives me great anger...."

While this council continued to destroy our amenities the possibilities are endless.

Graham Baxter,

Bromwich Street,

Bolton.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.