Three plus two equals chaos,

Is an adage that often rings true.

Five children on holiday in summer,

But it's raining so what can they do?

Two girls and three boys, little angels,

That is their parents' belief.

But they're out at work, so they're happy,

While we're left to cope with the grief.

The two boys want to play football,

In the kitchen instead of the yard.

But the girls are in there, making pastries,

Up to their ears in flour and lard.

One of the lads thinks he's Gazza,

Heads the ball through the door, and shouts goal.

But it isn't a net, that it's dropped in,

It's dropped in the girls' mixing bowl.

It looks like a minor explosion,

There's flour all over the place.

And the girls are standing there screaming,

With McDougalls covering their face.

Granny comes in, looking angry,

A clip round the ear's what they get.

A jug full of water goes flying,

And the kitchen floor is all wet.

One lad decides to go AWOL,

But he skids on the now slippy floor.

Hits his brother like an exocet rocket,

And lands thump up against cupboard door.

Well he lets out a yell like a banshee,

Nearly frightens his grandad to death.

And the shock to the old man's system,

Simply leaves him gasping for breath.

Poor Granny gives him his tablets,

And soon he's up on his feet.

Then he gathers the source of the chaos,

And dumps the three plus two

In the street. Ken Buckley, Glen Avenue, Bolton

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.