I thought when I retired,

I was in for lots of fun.

Just doing all my hobbies,

Or sitting, relaxing, in the sun.

But my wife, she thought, quite differently,

She said - there're lots of things to do.

You can go and dig the garden,

Then paint the bathroom, blue.

The shed, now that wants mending,

And the fence needs looking at.

Then directly after dinner,

You can feed the dog and cat.

The windows could do with cleaning,

And when you've made them shine.

You can go and get your ladder out,

And clean the gutters while it's fine.

When you've finished those little jobs,

I think it might be best.

Seeing that you've retired,

You'd better have a rest. Ted Crutchlow

Lancaster Avenue, Horwich

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.