TODAY the Chorley Citizen, tomorrow the New York Times!
Ah well, I can dream - but during a recent jaunt across the Atlantic, I decided to turn a vacation into a busman's holiday and, thanks to the wonders of e-mail, set up a visit to one of the world's most successful newspapers, the New York Times.
The paper is shoved down what could be considered a backstreet in Manhattan, even though the company owns neighbouring Times Square, the glitzy part of New York City.
But despite the building's lowly facade (in comparison with the rest of the city), the scale of the publication is staggering.
We tagged along with a group of austere German journalism students for the tour, which was led by Jim Morgan, part of the Times furniture who has spent 30 years with the company.
Working in Chorley is as pleasant as it is fulfilling for a junior reporter. But it did make me feel a little insignificant to be told the Times has an editorial staff of 1,200 people.
On one Sunday last year, the paper numbered a baffling 1,600 pages - and the Citizen's sales manager nearly collapsed when I told her this edition alone brought in $20 million in advertising revenue!
Possibly the highlight of the visit was a question from one of our Teutonic friends, missing the point in time-honoured German tradition.
When Jim told us the Times keeps presidential obituaries pasted up, ready for the remaining First Citizens to pass on, someone piped up, "And you only use this information when they die?" to which Jim wittily replied, "Well, it's as good a time as any, isn't it?".
As for New York itself, it's hectic but not half as fraught or violent as we're told. Manhattan is a magical city and its people are as nice as any I have met.
Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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