IF there's one thing I find more irritating than seeing someone with no kids parking in a parent and child space at the supermarket it's the Carling player and manager awards.

In fact, I'd be happy to accept the ignorance of that slob who wobbles out of his car outside the front door of Safeways leaving a woman and her three kids to park at the far end of the car park if only those people who decide the Carling awards would get their act together.

Predictable isn't the word. I was already writing a piece saying Arsene Wenger will get the Manager of the Year award when the announcement came through confirming it.

You didn't have to be psychic to work it out just like you don't have to be Mystic Meg to decipher who's going to win the monthly top manager awards.

The boss of the team that gets the best results gets the prize - it's as straightforward and meaningless as that and it's a shame for Wenger because he deserves better for the brilliant job he has done.

These awards will never have any credibility until a club's league position and financial clout is taken into consideration as well as their results.

It's a far greater achievement to manage a penniless, bottom of the table team to four wins and a draw in a month than it is for a megabucks club at the top to win five out of five - just as it is to guide perennial Third Division strugglers Torquay or Scarborough to the play-offs or keep Bury in the First Division than it is to lead Manchester United to the title.

So, here's the alternative Manager of the Year.

Wenger's still in there but I'm afraid there would be no place in the running for the usual candidates like Ferguson, Dalglish and Graham. How about Sammy McIlroy who took Macclesfield up for the second successive year on a shoestring? Or Stan Ternent at Bury, Stockport's Gary Megson or Dario Gradi at Crewe who all kept tiny clubs up in the First Division?

Then there's Dave Jones who kept Southampton clear of relegation danger for the first time in years and Joe Kinnear who, for me, would be manager of the year every year.

Alan Ball deserves the freedom of Portsmouth for miraculously keeping them up when everyone thought they were dead and buried and Sam Allardyce did an unbelievable job in guiding Notts County to win the Third Division by a landslide despite having to sell a string of top players.

They are the real managerial successes of the season but they'll be lucky to get a mention on awards night.

I USED to hate this time of year when I was a kid.

Three months without football was unbearable and no amount of sunshine or family holidays could fill the void.

I'd scrutinise the sports pages for transfer tittle tattle and even keep one eye on the fortunes of Chelsea in the Australian League because they had the same name as an English club. But year's of soccer lows and troughs eventually took their toll and these days I'm glad of the break - or I would if we got one.

As soon as the play-offs are over the World Cup is upon us. And after being glued to the screen between June 10 and July 12 it'll be time to buy the new shirt and get off to the pre-season friendlies which, for Wanderers, started last year at Crewe on July 16.

For years the debate has been about whether to have a winter break. I, for one, wouldn't mind one in summer.

SOMEBODY should have a word with the Ramakrishna Mission school cricket team.

The kids from Calcutta created history this week when they were all out for nothing.

They lasted just four overs against the Bournvita cricket academy with their star performer, one Tanumoy Banerjee - don't bother remembering his name - managing to survive four deliveries.

A word of advice: if at first you don't succeed, try, try...a different sport.

THE last thing Bolton Wanderers want to hear when they have lost their Premiership status is that they've won friends.

But it's still worth remembering the genuine goodwill other fans showed towards Colin Todd's men in the final week.

I'm told the Liverpool banners wishing Wanderers well had plenty to do with the good feeling created between the two clubs as well as the obvious desire of the Reds to see Everton relegated.

Crystal Palace fans applauding Wanderers and swapping shirts with Reebok fans was another nice touch as was Chelsea fans booing their own team as they willed Wanderers to score a late equaliser.

It's nice to be liked but it's small consolation.

THERE'S always somebody worse off than yourself.

Take Stoke City...their fans wish somebody would.

So demoralised were they with the way their side slipped out of the First Division trap door that they voted their club mascot, Pottermus the hippo, into seventh place in the club's Player of the Season awards.

It's a kick in the teeth for the Stoke players but they should just be thankful they didn't have Wanderers' wonderful Lofty The Lion to contend with - he'd probably have won it.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.