THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT ARACHNIPHOBE Spiders, spiders everywhere
And all the girls did shrink
From jobs in the kitchen when
They found one in the sink.
"What, frightened of one spider?"
Scoffed Kevin: "That's a laugh.
"You'd better not go upstairs --
"There's 40 in the bath."
Spiders, spiders everywhere;
Their stealth was quite uncanny.
Shrieks from the loo confirmed them
In every nook -- and granny.
Sidney dropped his dark toupee,
As from the horde he fled.
Then grabbed it from the mele,
And plonked it on his head.
Spiders, spiders everywhere
And one said, with a frown:
"Sid, go get your glasses on
"And put our Webster down."
Nancy cried: "Don't panic. They
"Can't bite -- that's my belief."
"I'll bet you're wrong," dad answered.
"Yon big one's got false teeth."
Spiders, spiders everywhere,
And one said as he pranced:
"We're like the National Lottery;
"We pick on folk by chance."
"Now we'll go while you enjoy
"The pleasures of daylight.
"But, dear punter, don't relax --
"IT COULD BE YOU tonight!" By Peter Turner
Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article