I WAS speaking to someone the other day who has been married for nearly 50 years.

Jokingly he said to me: "Yes, that's the equivalent to three life sentences!"

As in any good joke, there is an element of truth in what he said. Any marriage, even a good marriage, can be quite demanding at times.

Another old joke about marriage takes this one step further.

Again, a couple who had been married for 50 years were asked: "Have you ever thought of divorce?"

The man replied: "Never, but I have sometimes thought of murder."

There are times of strain in any marriage. What counts is how you cope with them.

Some years ago, I was talking a group of students around a Buddhist monastery.

The monks and nuns had a very disciplined lifestyle.

They spent much of the day in silent meditation.

They had no personal possessions of their own.

They didn't even have a room of their own where they could go for a bit of peace away from the others.

They slept on a slightly raised, hard platform in the mediation hall with no bedclothes and no pillows.

We got talking to one of the older monks about the discipline that this hard way of life demanded.

He said: "Yes, but this is easy compared to the discipline I needed before I came here, when I was a married man with children."

Marriage is a great joy and a great comfort, but we also need to remember that it is a demanding discipline as well.

Just recently, figures have been released by the Office for National Statistics, which show the number of people getting married continues to fall.

Before we throw up our hands in horror at this, we need to remember just how demanding marriage is.

If the monk in the monastery is right, then no wonder the numbers are declining in a society like ours where there are alternatives to marriage.

Perhaps what we should be doing, rather than lamenting the fall in numbers, is to rejoice that the are still so many people who are willing to enter into the commitment.

By and large, my experience is that people know what the demands are and they enter into marriage knowing that it is going to be hard work as well as a joyful opportunity.

Discipline and hard work are no bad things in themselves anyway.

Naturally we would prefer things to come easy, but the most valuable things in life only ever come when we are willing rise to the challenge and stretch ourselves to the limit.

The Reverend Michael Williams

Vicar of Bolton Parish Church