'I don't think a day goes by when I don't feel thankful'

FOR a mother, cradling your newborn baby in your arms is an experience hard to beat.

But for Wendy Ellis, the moment will be extra special -- one she never thought she'd have. Her story is one of bravery but also one that proves the love of a sibling is possibly one of the strongest bonds we can ever have.

And when she holds her first child in her arms next month, Wendy's story will have the happy ending it deserves.I feel so incredibly lucky.

Most young girls have, at some time or other, dreamed of marrying the man of their dreams and raising a family.

But Wendy had always believed the latter part of that girlhood dream to be completely out of reach.

She was a toddler of two when she was diagnosed with renal failure and for the next 16 years had to endure three-monthly clinics at the outpatients department of her local hospital.

Then, at 18, both Wendy's kidneys started to fail - she was faced with a total collapse of her situation and prepared herself for kidney dialysis.

"I'd become used to feeling terrible all the time," says Wendy, 30, "it can only be described as having the most terrible hangover ever - headaches, sickness, dizziness and complete exhaustion.

"Of course it's something I learned to live with - I had to - but it dictates your life."

Wendy knew dialysis was unavoidable and, in between university lectures, she was hooked up to a machine, three times a week for four hours at a time.

The treatment involves removing all the blood from the body, cleansing it artificially before returning it to the body.

"It's an exhausting process," says Wendy, who lives in Astley Bridge, "and left me feeling extremely ill. You basically only have one 'okay' day a week. You're on the machine for three days, spend a full day in bed recovering and then have one relatively normal day. It certainly took its toll on my body."

However, Wendy was lucky enough to receive a transplant after only a year of dialysis. "It's relatively difficult to find a kidney match," she explains, "so when doctors found one for me I was absolutely delighted."

Sadly the prognosis of the transplant was not good. Medical staff told Wendy its expectancy was just three months and she left hospital with mixed feelings.

But the kidney lasted for a lot longer than three months - seven years in fact! "I can't say I was ever 'well' in that time," she recalls, "but at least I managed to stay off a second lot of dialysis for as long as possible."

Because she often felt unwell, Wendy began to use the internet on a regular basis. She'd started work as a teacher at Smithills school and had also become heavily involved in the school drama group. But when she felt too weak to do much else, she surfed the net.

And all that surfing paid off because in 1997 she met Andy, an American based in Florida.

She laughs: "It was certainly a whirlwind romance and we spent our days sending each other e mails. But I knew he was someone special and he made me feel wonderful."

They managed to spend two weeks together when Wendy felt well enough to make the journey to Florida and on her return the couple kept up their long-distance love affair.

However, in June of that year it was obvious Wendy's health was rapidly deteriorating and she told Andy she was becoming very ill. He didn't need a second chance. Within minutes he'd proposed and they married as soon as he landed in England.

But within weeks Wendy was back on dialysis and, at one point, spent three solid months in hospital - not the best start to any new marriage. "I was extremely ill for about a year," she says. "It really was a tough and possibly testing time for both of us. Andy had left a hot and sunny Florida and arrived in very cold and damp Bolton where his new wife hadn't the strength to do anything.

"It must have been very difficult for him but he really looked after me."

At this point doctors started talking to Wendy about a new kidney transplant and asked her if she had any brothers or sisters who would be willing to donate.

"I was really surprised at this," she says, "because at the time of my first transplant blood relatives were not considered to be possible transplantees, so this request came as a bit of a shock."

Knowing the mammoth favour she was asking Wendy tentatively put her request to members of her family. Every single one put themselves forward.

"That's something I'll never, ever forget," she says, visibly moved at the memory. "They all simply wanted me to be well."

After months of agonising waiting it was discovered that her eldest brother, Adrian was a perfect match.

"Doctors look at the donated kidney on a points system," she explains, "and they won't work with anything less than three. The best is a six and that's what Adrian was.

"But it really wasn't all cut and dried. I was asking Adrian to do an amazing thing for me and it was an uncertain time for both of us. He's married and, because renal failure can be hereditary, I was concerned that when he eventually has children one may have kidney problems and I knew he'd want to use his kidney then.

"And I knew Adrian kept having second thoughts - one minute he'd feel sure about what he was doing, then he'd feel scared. It was like a rollercoaster ride."

But of course Adrian decided he wanted to do whatever he could for his sister and the operation went ahead on October 1, 1998 - coincidentally the same date as Wendy's first transplant!

She says: "I'll never forget sitting with Adrian the evening before the operation. Knowing someone you love so dearly has taken the choice to give you the gift of life is a very moving experience."

Within days of the operation, both Wendy and Adrian were back home making a speedy recovery. And she says the difference in her health since the transplant has taken everyone by surprise. Adrian was soon back at work as a manager for Le Meridian hotel in Singapore and Wendy returned to her teaching post at Smithills.

However, she soon decided on a change of career and took over the running of the Drama Workshop Youth Theatre in Astley Bridge.

Then, at the start of this year, her life took on another incredible change. She discovered she was pregnant!

"To say Andy and I are overjoyed would be a huge understatement," she smiles. "After years of bad health, two kidney transplants, lots of dialysis and the wrong blood in a transfusion the thought of having children of my own has been nothing more than a dream.

"I couldn't believe how well my life was going, I'd had a marvellous upturn in health, married a wonderful man and now I was having a baby. I feel so incredibly lucky. I don't think a day goes by when I don't feel thankful.

Wendy says her pregnancy has been relatively smooth, she has nothing but praise for the staff at Hope Hospital in Manchester. "Any pregnancy has its own apprehensions," she says, "and I realised mine would probably bring more than most. But I make weekly visits to Hope and have been looked after by some of the most amazing medical staff who have minimised my worries."

The baby is due in early October yet amid all the excitement Wendy still feels a certain amount of sadness.

"I miss Adrian terribly," she admits. "For health reasons I haven't been able to visit him in Singapore. Of course we speak regularly on the phone but it's not the same as being able to hug him.

"He did an amazing thing for me and I'll never forget that. I wouldn't be alive without him and over the years kidney donation has been given a pretty bad press by some and I feel it's all been one sided. That's why I wanted to tell my story. I'm an active member of the Kidney Research Fund and I'll do all I can to show the positive side.

"And, hopefully next summer, I'll be well enough to travel to Singapore and introduce my baby to a very special uncle."

*Wendy is keen to point out that, while she has taken temporary leave from the Theatre Workshop, it's still up and running on a regular basis at Astley Bridge Theatre Church. She'll return in January next year.