CHILDREN can easily become pawns in a power and control struggle by feuding or divorcing parents. And even when the war is over, the problem of when and where -- and all too often, if -- they can see estranged parents remains.

At the weekend, the M4 was closed for a time as a father held his two-year-old son hostage for more than 30 hours in what is understood to be an access case.

This week -- Parents Week -- Home Secretary, David Blunkett announced details of a £300,000 boost to help young dads bond with their children and improve their parenting skills. But what is a father's position with his children if he decides to leaves the family home? MOST divorced fathers, according to statistics, want to see their children. And it is very likely that most children want to see their dads.

So why is it so difficult for this simple thing to happen?

Figures from the National Association of Child Contact Centres (NACCC) reveal that nine out of 10 single parents in Britain are female. But, between 35 and 50 per cent of fathers are estimated to lose contact with their children after two years' separation or divorce.

According to the NACCC, 44 per cent of estranged fathers say they do not see their children often enough.

Many say they feel like "uncles" with, if they are lucky, weekend visits or the occasional overnight stay.

The Bolton branch of the NACCC is situated on St George's Road. It has been open for over 10 years. Its aims are to enable contact between both parties while the parents work towards negotiating long-term agreements for child contact outside the centre.

Jonathan (not his real name) is a father-of-two from Bolton. He says: "I was nervous to use the centre at first yet I knew it was the only way for me to have continued contact with my kids.

"It's proved a lifesaver for me in the impartial support and the help it has given."

And eight-year-old Leah (again not her real name) from Bolton says: "I loved my dad, even though he left and I didn't know him, and I loved him for coming to the contact centre to meet me."

Statistics also show that 70 per cent of men who leave their partners do so for other women. But does this mean they should be penalised by having limited access to their children?

For the unmarried father, the outlook is even bleaker. The Children Act is built on the premise of shared parenting and states that a child has the right to have access to both parents after divorce.

However, a father who is not married to the mother of his child has no rights in law to see his own children -- unless he can get a Parental Responsibility Order which will give him the same status as a married man.

Michelle Newton is an expert in family law at Barkers Solicitors on Knowsley Street, Bolton, and says many men only find out they have no rights when it is too late.

"The Children Act was introduced in 1989 and with it came the premise that parents no longer have rights over their children but a responsibility."

She continued: "What also came to the fore was that an unmarried father has no legal responsibility to his children -- in these cases the parental responsibility is vested solely with the mum.

"Over 90 per cent of unmarried parents register their child's birth together yet nobody tells the father that he has no legal responsibility. Some of my colleagues have had men break down and cry when they discover this.

"They have sought legal advice for access only to discover they don't have the rights they thought.

"But what is so frustrating for us as family lawyers is that this can be so easily rectified. Men can get legal responsibility by three means.

"One is if they marry the mother. The second is if they apply to the County Court Office for a straightforward agreement when both parents agree that the father should have joint parental responsibility.

"This can be done when the child is being registered and I believe 99 per cent of dads would do this -- if only they knew they could.

"The third is a Parental Responsibility Order, granted when several points have been satisfied. These points always remain the same but, over the past couple of years the thinking behind them has changed -- for the better."

She went on: "To sum it up, a Parental Responsibility Order gives a father the right -- a term I use loosely -- to have access to school reports, information about parent evenings and such like.

"And on a practical, more basic note, it also gives them the right on health issues.

"For example, if a father has to take his child to hospital and the doctors need written consent for treatment -- if that man doesn't have an Order he will not be able to sign any document. How do you think that would make him feel?"

"However", Mrs Newton adds: "An Order does not give a father the right to interfere with the day to day rearing of the child."