NO wonder 99 per cent of football players have backed the PFA's vote to fight for more money.

If I was a player you couldn't give me a form fast enough to tick that 'Yes' for strike action box.

I can only dream of the life I'd have as a footballer in the PFA. Paid to do the greatest job in the world and then looked after for the rest of my life.

That union has really got it sussed. It's the only union in the western world which is funded by a third party, players only have to pay £75 a year to be in it and if you get the top job you get £400,000 a year (£450,000 on a good year) - more than double the next highest paid trade union leader.

I wonder if I can get my old mate Terry Robinson to sign me on at Bury just so I can join.

I wouldn't bother that they take millions of pounds a year out of football which could be spent on helping small clubs survive because they'd be spending the money on me.

The things they'd spend the money on wouldn't even be necessary because they are available to the common man anyway. Still, if it's being offered then I'm taking it.

One of the three areas where all the money goes is in helping players who are not wanted by clubs, to be retrained for another job. I know that people in every other industry in every other union can get the same thing by going to college. But, hell, if I don't have to use my own initiative and get myself another job like everyone else why should I?

The union also spends loads of money on players whose careers have been ended by injury. Paying all sorts of costs and helping them get another job. Sure, I could get myself insured like everyone else and then work at finding another job but, again, why should if it's going to be laid on a plate for me.

The last of the three main areas of spending is on players who hit on hard times, usually after they've finished playing, like if I need a hip operation because of injuries I picked up during my career. Everyone else has the NHS or a private health scheme to sort them out but what would I need with them when I'd have the PFA to look after my every need?

There's real need in certain areas of football for extra money. Bury FC is dying on its feet because it's got no cash and has to practically sign kids off the street to keep putting a team out. And they're one of the lucky ones.

But I wouldn't care about that. I'd just want the PFA to get as much money as it possible can to make sure I am kept in the privilaged lifestyle I have become accustomed to right through my retirement.

I'd want the sugar on the cherry on the icing on the cake and the PFA are just the men to get it for me.

The only thing that puzzles me is why did the vote only get 99 per cent of backing from members?