Nothing like a dame

Andrew took Paul through the transformation step by step, and the end result was -- dazzling!

"I AM not too sure about this," said anxious news reporter Paul Britton as he was dragged through the dressing room door of the Albert Halls.

In front of him lay a selection of make up which would make Liz Hurley proud.

The lipsticks, foundations, eye shadows and eyebrow pencils belonged to Andrew Oldham, who happily slaps them on daily to appear as Widow Twankey in Aladdin.

The pantomime at the Albert Halls in Bolton town centre started its run last week to packed houses and enthusiastic reviews.

Andrew said: "This is my sixth year as a dame and I love it. It is the best job in the world. It is the most fun you can have without a doubt -- what could be better than being a part of a child's Christmas present?"

But what is the secret to being a successful dame?

Andrew said: "You have to remember you are not trying to portray a woman. You remain a man in a dress. Everything has to be exaggerated. You are very much a man in a frock."

After extolling the virtues of performing as a pantomime dame to a still unconvinced Paul, it was down to business.

Sitting side by side the reporter followed the performer every step of the way.

First, the foundation, a subtle shade of...orange!

"The base has to be thick and bright because once the lights on stage hit your face, it drains all the colour," Andrew explained. "It all has to be well over the top."

Next came the eyebrow pencil, closely followed by colour for the cheeks. Taking a bright red lipstick Andrew placed big circles on either cheek, before rubbing the colour in.

He smiled: "What a way to make a living."

A little bit of glitter was then rubbed up and down the cheek -- "so that when the light hits your face, it shines."

Andrew conceded: "This really is the most bizarre thing in the world."

Paul sat alongside nodding his bright orange face vigorously -- the glitter catching the light creating a shimmering effect.

Attention was then turned to the eyes. Bright blue was in order. Large dollops were smudged over and above each lid another touch of glitter. Last, came the lipstick.

"I am useless at this," admitted Andrew. "I share a dressing room with Bernard (Wrigley), and I often have to ask him to put my lipstick on for me.

"My final thing is a pair of specs. Only then do I feel complete."

And the result, before wig and dress? Slightly frightening.

The wig arrives next. Long, flowing auburn curls were unceremoniously placed on to Paul's head together with giant ear rings.

"My God, you look more like Cher than Widow Twankey," said Andrew appreciatively.

Paul wasn't quite so sure. How did he feel?

"Hot," came back the slightly disgruntled reply. "I could not imagine having to perform like this in front of people for two and a half hours."

A blue and yellow number was then taken off the hanger and handed to him. "It is the frock I wear in the opening scenes," said Andrew.

"In fact I have seven changes in total throughout the show. It is difficult, but you get used to it."

To really get a feel of life as a pantomime dame Paul clambered on stage with Andrew and Tam Ryan, who plays Aladdin. Did he think his own mum would recognise him?

"I don't think she would want to," he joked.

And what of his final thoughts on the transformation?

He said: "I do not think it is the life for me, but I can imagine it being really good fun. You forget the wig is on, but the make up really does feel tight on your face. And, yes, the experience has given me a terrific insight as to just what goes into the life of a pantomime dame."

With that, Paul was handed the make up remover cream. Leaning over the sink, he said: "This had better work because I have football training tonight. "