ALLO Allo . . . Members of the Marco Players appear to have something up their sleeves.

In addition to staging the play of the classic BBC television comedy show by Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft, the Marco Players AODS is also having a collection for charity "of all those worthless foreign coins which people may 'ave lying about ze 'ouse".

As in Cafe Rene, marks, franks, lire or any other currency will be welcome, and donations can be made at the church during the week of the play.

Allo Allo will be performed from February 13 to 16 at Chorley Old Road Methodist Community Church. Tickets can be booked on 01204 840824 or 848935.

All the usual mayhem associated with the comedy is promised.

A theatre spokesman said: "All ze staff of Caf Rene will be present to entertain you and welcome the regular patrons, as we follow the familiar and less familiar adventures of Rene Artois, as he uses all his wits to survive. Colonel Von Strohm and Herr Flick are trying to get 'old of ze sausage containing ze portrait by Van Klomp.

"Captain Bertorelli is trying to get 'old of all ze beautiful Laydees. Rene is trying to be nice to everyone, (especially 'is waitresses), whilst avoiding Lieutenant Gruber, (who fancies 'im), and Michelle will be 'atching more 'air brained schemes to blow up ze Germans and save ze British airmen, assisted by that idiot Crabtree, who still thinks that 'e can speak French.

"With stuffed parrots, exploding cheeses, multiple disguises and unexpected complications, it is just another typical day at Caf Rene, but a terrific evening's entertainment for the audience."