ANTHONY Howard is an angry young man - frustrated at not being given the chance to fulfil his potential at next year's Commonwealth Games.
A lack of funding has forced the 22 year-old to divide his time between holding down a full-time job and trying to put in the long hours of training that is required for him to be one of the best freestylers in the world.
A member of the Bolton Metro Swim Squad, Howard has competed in the big four swimming events and collected a bronze medal at the last Commonwealth Games but would like to bow out by competing in Manchester.
"A few months ago I was ready to pack it in," he confessed, "but I swam so well at the Europeans off so little training that I decided to carry on.
"My biggest problem was coming back from the Olympics. I returned from Sydney just having turned 21 and thinking this is the start but in some respects it has been the end.
"It was over after that. Since returning I have had no communication with my governing body. Up to coming back from Olympics I was still on lottery funding but the ASA were the only team not to win a medal at the Olympics and subsequently lost our lottery funding.
"I received funding between the Commonwealth Games and the Olympics. I had at least two years which covered my training expenses. But once we came back they had to re-evaluate the standards and as soon as I lost my funding I had to get a job.
Howard, who starting racing for Bolton and Bridgeman SC when he was five didn't expect to go the last Commonwealth Games as he was ranked 25th before the trials but a superb performance saw him qualify for the relay team.
"That was a big shock It was a mountain to climb and was a tremendous achievement. It was a turning point."
Howard's finest moment came when he represented Great Britain at the Sydney Olympics even though the team finished ninth and missed out on a place in the final by 100ths of a second.
Just before Christmas last year Howard collected a second medal when he won bronze in the European Championships in the 4x50m relay and his success after relatively little training has spurred him on to the Commonwealth Games. But now he is facing up to the prospect of a long hard winter ahead.
"I want to race the best in the world but I have no chance of that," he added.
"The next best thing is to compete against the best in the country, the lads I have always raced against, but I can't do that as I have to work Monday to Friday. We have a grand prix circuit and I would have to leave Wednesday to get there for the next four days and I can't do that. I can only race Saturday and Sunday and travel down Friday night.
"I have to do what I can, when I can. You never realise how good it was until something happens like this. I am sure there are not four lads in England who are faster than me. I would go at least in the relay and I'm pretty sure I would make the individual event.
"I live my life in a daze. I get up to be at the pool at 5.30am to do a 90 minute session. Wednesday is my only lie in and then I get up at 7am to go to work. I train two hours Monday and Tuesday night. It is not too bad when you can go home and go back to bed, but I go home and put my suit on and go to work.
"A lot of the swimmers have lost money because of the withdrawal of funding. We are being penalised for not winning a medal at the Olympics. If you look at the male track team they came back with one medal and nothing was said after all the hype they had. Swimming got slated because we didn't get a medal."
Howard is also unhappy that even if he makes it to the Games his parents will have to splash out a small fortune just to watch him compete.
"Why at the Commonwealth Games is swimming the most expensive event to watch? It is called the Friendly Games but to watch the men's 50m freestyle semi-final in a decent seat will cost you £90. To watch the athletics men's 4x100m final the maximum it will cost is £40. You have to question why this country can't be bothered to fund swimmers when on the form for ticket applications it shows pictures of a rugby player and a swimmer. They are the most expensive events to watch. It is all geared up for Australia and New Zealand because they will win most of those events.
"For my mum and dad to watch me in my two events will cost them more than £400. You can go and watch athletics for a fiver. I would like someone to explain why the difference in ticket costs. To me it is scandalous.
"Nobody is interested in swimming in this country. It rarely gets on telly or in the papers but my friends and family can't go to watch me in, theoretically, my home pool because it costs so much."
Howard, who says he will train for the 50m and 200m events as well as his favoured 100m, admits he may retire after Manchester. "It is not because I want to but purely on financial grounds.
"I can't carry on like this. If I got funding I would be 23 years old earning £6,000, I could get more sweeping out a warehouse. How am I suppose to motivate young children into coming into the sport and say how wonderful it is when it is not. What is the point? Why end up where I am?
"I have been to the four biggest competitions in the world but have no money in the bank."
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