GRAHAM Baxter refers to me in his letter (May 7) as his "old pal".

Graham who! Then Mr.. er.. Baxter chides me for "having a sideways swipe at the Queen Mum".

Sarcastically, he says I might have spoiled my chance of a knighthood and suggests I write a grovelling apology, as "Sir Brian Derbyshire" has a nice ring to it.

It's quite a while since Graham .. er.. what's his name last had a letter on these pages. I hope it will be a lot longer before we see another one. Gotcha!

In actual fact, Graham, I almost fell off my chair laughing when I read your letter. Nice to see you back again and still with your sense of humour -- something sadly missing in these violent days -- even though I was the butt of your humour.

However, having written so many letters to the Bolton Evening News, and having taken quite a lot of stick for my trouble, I have now grown a skin thick enough to use to give skin-grafts to hippos -- wrinkles and all. Nice one Graham!

Brian Derbyshire

Ribchester Grove, Bolton