French international coach Raymond Domenech has come out with some rather unflattering comments about Bolton. Here features editor Angela Kelly takes him to task

SO -- yawn, yawn -- once again someone who has never set foot in Bolton is saying our town is a dump.

Raymond Domenech, coach to France's under-21 football team, has hit out at the town as "the a**ehole of the universe".

This has been prompted by the arrival at Bolton Wanderers this summer of right-back Bernard Mendy on a season's loan from Paris St Germain.

The young player has already been forced to make an apology for some reported remarks he made about his team-mates and the town.

Now, his national coach is adding his two cents worth, saying the player would have been better off staying in France with a less prestigious club.

Sorry, Raymond, but you're talking out of your derriere.

But, since you've never actually been to Bolton, here's some news for you.

The slag heaps are gone. The "satanic mills" have been turned into smart apartments and, gasp, we've got BEAUTY SPOTS!

It may have passed you by -- well, you've been so busy moving around France (Lyon, Strasbourg, Paris, Bordeaux) -- but the North-west has moved on since the Industrial Revolution. Bolton is now a modern town -- the biggest in England -- with justifiable pretensions to be a city, and plenty to boast about.

We don't spin cotton any more, in fact, hi-tech firms and retail developments are now among the major employers. And our lively town centre, with its blend of impressive historic buildings and newer edifices draws in visitors from all over the country.

If you'd managed to catch any of the Commonwealth Games this summer, you'd have seen not only our impressive sports facilities at the Bolton Arena, but also the rural and rugged beauty of Rivington.

This famed "Northern Riviera" rivals anything you've got in Brittany, for example, and impressed people across the world (although it may have missed you as you were possibly still being treated for depression following France's glorious performance in the World Cup. Sorry to mention it.)

If you'd come to Bolton and talked to the warm local people -- no Gallic shrugs and dismissive indifference just helpful chat and "where do you want to get to, love?" -- you'd know that we're fiercely loyal to our town, and to our team.

And, we're well used to talented sportsmen and highly successful personalities.

Peter Kay, the hottest comedian of the moment, is a Boltonian and proud of it, while you've got, er, Jean Le Penn, oh, sorry, he's not a comedian, is he?

One of the country's greatest actors Sir Iain McKellen, was educated here and his Lord of the Rings is huge around the world. But then, you've got Gerard Depardieu, who's just huge.

The Bolton accent is nationally known and loved, thanks to radio icons Sara Cox and Mark Radcliffe. Your Lyon accent is equally famous, in Lyon.

But, Raymond, Bolton folk are famed for their generosity of heart, and it's quite likely they will forgive your remarks, in time.

Simply come into the town centre, announce loudly who you are, and they will immediately demonstrate their understanding of the niceties of the French language and their genuine appreciation of constructive criticism.

On second thoughts, don't bother.

We'll simply let Bolton -- its loyal football fans, its lively nightlife, its wholesome quality of life -- do the talking to young Bernard.

And we'll be hoping that his feet do the talking at the Reebok.

As for you, Raymond, I'll keep to a tried and trusted bit of Boltonese -- shut votre gob, and give your derriere a rest.