From her prison cell Rebecca describes how drugs ruined her life. This is Rebecca's story in her own words.
'I WAS privately educated at Bolton School Girls' Division, and gained nine GCSEs. At school, although I was quite popular, I didn't like to join in with all my friends' activities. At weekends they liked to get drunk and smoke pot, but at first I was really against it. Not for any other reason than being scared. Eventually at around 13, I began to get drunk at weekends, and at around 14, I began to smoke pot and take LSD. I wasn't into it in a particularly big way. I did well in my GCSEs and went to college to do my 'A' Levels. I started to go out raving and using whizz, but even then drugs scared me because I refused to take ecstasy because of all the bad stories. Then, at 16, I met someone who introduced me to harder drugs. I could never say he got me on them, because he never forced them down my neck, he just introduced me to them. I began to use heroin at 17, and a week before my 18th birthday, due to a dispute with my mum, I moved out and got a flat on my own.
I was using for nine months before I became physically addicted. I became mentally addicted after the first time I tried it.
I woke one morning feeling so ill. It was the worst I had ever felt in my life. My back and legs were really aching, I had stomach cramps, diarrhoea, felt sick, had runny eyes and nose, and feelt so irritable. It was that morning that the gear took a strong grip on me and, at that point, little did I know that that was day one of my five-year nightmare.
When I got my daily medicine once again I felt warm, with not a care in the world. I call it my glow, the best feeling ever. Eventually I was able to score on my own, and that's when I went downhill.
I began using £40 worth a day. Then my boyfriend went into rehab and I had to fund my own habit by shoplifting. Over the years I got worse, then came the crack, and then injecting. My veins were so bad I had to inject in my groin. My appearance was a disgrace. I always looked dirty, scruffy with greasy hair. I sold everything out of my flat, leaving me with little more than a bed.
In between I went to jail on little shoplifting sentences. The most shameful thing I can say I did was steal money off my own mum and pawn her gold bracelet. I took money out of my sister's bank account, ripped my grandma off, and worst of all, at the time, felt no remorse whatsoever. I didn't care as long as I got my gear.
My mum had me back at home to attempt to get me clean, and all I did was abuse her and jump out of the window. Eventually I began to sell gear and my habit rocketed to around £100 of rock and £80 worth of gear.
After a few months I got busted and sentenced to two years in prison. I wanted to come to prison to get me on the right track. While in here I've done NVQ in hairdressing, and I am a qualified hairdresser. Business in Prisons has put me in touch with the Prince's Trust, and I am hoping to set up my own mobile hairdressing business. I came to prison at exactly six stone, and now weigh nine stone. I take pride in my appearance, even putting make-up on every day. At my first prison, which I was at for six months, I can honestly say I didn't use drugs once, and I was so confident in coming out and remaining drug free. But since coming to the prison I am at now, because drugs are so easily accessible, I use whenever I can. I love gear, I just don't like the life that comes with it.
The best way I can describe it, is being my shadow with me 24 hours a day. My shadow is my heroin addiction.
It's not only been my nightmare, but the nightmare of my family.
I'm out in three weeks, and will have done 12 months once released. I'm going to rehab for six months to see if I can get my addiction under control. If I don't, I know it's sad to say, but the only place I'll end up is my grave.
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"I don't know what the future holds for me, whether I'll stay clean or not, I just hope and pray to God I will, because I dream of having a normal life. I lie in my cell at night thinking of all things I can do when I get out while leading a normal life. I want to go clubbing more than anything because I love dancing. I used to be a professional dancer, but gave it up due to my addiction.
"My rehab has taken a lot of fighting for on my mum's behalf for the funding. They refused me at first because of lack of commitment due to me absconding from rehab two years ago after only three days. But what more commitment do they want from me than 12 months' custodial, straight into six months' residential rehabilitation?
"People don't even try to understand drug addicts, they lock us up thinking it's a solution, only for us to come out and start again. Being is prison hasn't done anything for me other than me wanting to use more. Prisons are full of drugs anyway, so what's the point in putting us here? Rehab is my only hope now and, if it wasn't for my mum, I wouldn't have that.
"People need to stop judging drug addicts too quickly and need to try to understand us. We need help, not locking away for a while. It doesn't solve anything, but just puts it on hold for a while. I am one of the lucky ones, to get a rehab, and hopefully my mum won't have to bury me like other parents have with their kids because the help we desperately need isn't there.'
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