IT is a great pity that the whole debate over allowing gay couples to adopt is now seen as a political hot potato. Although there is no bar on homosexual or heterosexual people living together and adopting, only one can legally adopt.

Many people still feel distinctly uneasy about gay people adopting children at all. For some, you might as well substitute the word "gay" for "paedophile" as they believe that any child would automatically be at risk from such prospective parents.

Others point instead to the "notorious instability" of gay relationships. But the real victims of our prejudices are the hundreds of children currently in care who could be with loving parents if the system changed.

Some children -- those with difficult histories, or special needs -- may be particularly hard to place.

They may remain in care for most, or all, of their childhood, never knowing the warmth of real parental love, denied the support of a family of their own as they grow up.

Most of us would want every such child to be given the opportunity of being part of a family, but the knee-jerk reaction remains.

What we don't always see is the rigorous system of background checks, home study assessments, interviews, discussions and casework that precedes any adoption.

Gay couples certainly do split up. But so do heterosexual couples. In our throwaway society, even relationships have a sell-by date.

But it is no reason to refuse people with a genuine desire to be parents the opportunity to make a home for a child who is desperate for one. If we turn away from these children, then we condemn them to missing the kind of life that may well nurture them lovingly to adulthood.

It is important for us all -- and especially the Government -- to acknowledge that families in 2002 come in single and double units. And that they work or don't work regardless of the parents' sexuality.

Perhaps it is worth keeping this in mind the next time we glance at those poignant newspaper adverts of children wanting a new mum or dad.