WHAT: Alan Partridge. Not content with having the funniest show on the telly at the moment, Partridge, real name Steve Coogan, is in talks to star in a series of comic adverts, too.

The ads, for motoring and household insurers Norwich Union, which would be shown next year, could be worth a potential £500,000 to Coogan. Cashback.

But Norwich Union bosses are still mulling over their options. And members of Norwich city council are not keen to have Partridge further representing the city, claiming the character is to blame for Norwich's failure to be shortlisted for the European capital of culture 2008 title. Rubbish.

The cringeworthy radio host is now so well known that his connection with the city can only be a boost to its reputation - they should be glad he is so proud to have the "third best slot on radio Norwich".

After all, Peter Kay often paints a bleak but funny picture of Bolton, but everyone here, and up and down the country, would be glad to have such comic talent associated with their home town.

WHAT: The Syndicate - opening December 12 for a VIP preview night - the largest superclub in the country - In Blackpool!

The home of the largest rollercoaster in the country, that big tower, and funny trams, is supposedly set to become a clubbing mecca with the opening of The Syndicate.

With a capacity of 5,000 and expenditure of more than £4 million, the club boasts two floors, with a third opening in early 2003. Oh, and a 40ft revolving dancefloor "shaped like a 12 inch vinyl record".

It's round, then.

DJs confirmed in the Dance Arena read like a list of who's who in the club world. Judge Jules, Tall Paul, Brandon Block, Jeremy Healey, Boy George, Sonique, Fergie, etc, etc.

The club can be found on the site of the old ABC cinema in Church Street, which by all accounts, must have been huge.

Spending half a million pounds on a sound system sounds impressive, but with a decibel level of 138, you'll probably leave with a nosebleed. Or at least a headache.

WHAT: Last Week's Popstars: The Rivals final. Was it a fix? Was it genuine? Who knows?

Fans have been complaining all week that they could not register votes for female favourite Javine Hylton, who did not make it into the show's girl band.

Granada say they are happy with the outcome of an investigation into the voting system, and judge Louis Walsh, who will manage the female band, called Girls Aloud, said it was definitely not rigged.

West Londoner Javine, aged 20, was beaten by Sarah Harding, aged 21, from Stockport, who received 50,000 more votes.

It is even being said that voters for Javine heard a recorded message thanking them for voting for Sarah.

Of course, Granada could not admit the error if it were found to be true, as a re-run of the final, and voting system, would be seen to be ridiculous and at a serious financial cost. Not to mention a plummet in credibility.

What's Niz: OASIS being forced to cancel a gig after band members were attacked in a nightclub.

It's all well and good telling a band you don't like their music, but knocking their teeth out is going too far.

Liam sustained facial injuries and several missing teeth when they were attacked by a gang of youths in a Munich nightclub on their European tour earlier this week.

Two of the group's security men were also put into hospital, one after being knocked unconscious, in the brawl at the Bayerischer Hof Hotel's nightclub.

The attackers fled before police reached the scene and Gallagher was arrested but released after being questioned.

According to the band's website, the attack was supposedly unprovoked, but many will agree there is a moral to this tale - that if you act like a hardnut for long enough, eventually someone will want to test you on it.