LIKE many men, what type of tie I wore, and how I wore it, was of little importance to me writes Dean Kirby

That was until I met Lesley Perrin, an expert in everything to do with the tie.

Lesley, a tie analyst, was at the Reebok Stadium's De Vere Whites hotel, where she had been invited to give businessmen a lesson in just what to wear -- and how to wear it.

To my surprise, she seemed quite impressed with my silk purple stripey number, despite comments by colleagues back in the office.

"Don't listen to them back at the office," she said. "Your tie is spot on.

"But never wear jokey ties or Christmas ties. Girls just don't like them."

Lesley, an image consultant for Darwen style-guru firm House of Colour, knew everything there was to know about the world of ties.

Tall and skinny men should wear long and thin ties, she said.

Small and stocky men should go for short and broad ties.

Blue ties symbolise integrity and calmness. Yellow ties indicate a positive outlook on life.

But you should never let your tie dangle below your belt buckle because it "looks rude".

And comic ties are like wearing "Kiss me quick" hats.

Lesley said: "When you are deciding what tie to wear you should think about where you're going and who you're going with. Always pick a tie that's suitable for the occasion.

"Sensible patterned ties are best for work. People should look at you, rather than at what you're wearing."

Some of the men at De Vere Whites -- including me -- were clearly relearning some of the top tie tips taught to them by their dads many moons ago.

But one man who will always look good in a tie is Lesley's husband Bob.

She said: "I buy all of his ties and I'll definitely be getting him one for Christmas.

"He knows it will be just the perfect colour in the finest silk."

There are 85 ways to fasten a tie. Most men know only three: the Windsor, the half-Windsor and the four-in-hand.

Ties have been a symbol of authority in Britain since the 12th century. Chinese soldiers wore them even earlier.

Surgeons used to wear dickie-bows for work. They wore them because their ties got messy during operations.

A man's choice of tie gives an insight into his personality. Christmas ties and comedy ties are never good.

Women who tidy their husband's tie in public are secretly possessive.

Men who wear their ties too short look like Laurel and Hardy.