JUST when you think you've heard it all the US go and take the biscuit for the most ridiculous use of plastic surgery.

In New York, silicon implants for toes are apparently all the rage. Stubby and crooked digits are apparently such a social embarrassment that Manhattan women are prepared for pay to have them corrected.

Foot surgeons charge thousands of dollars to lengthen the offending digits by injecting them with the material normally preserved for boosting breast size.

Its nice to see that, while war and conflict is threatening the whole world, Americans still have their priorities (and, indeed, their toes) straight.

Who's afraid of Nicole Kidman?

IT was all smiles this week at the UK premiere of Nicole Kidman's new film, The Hours, in which she plays the author Virginia Woolf.

Kidman looked stunning in a shimmering black, one-shouldered dress, a contrast to her appearance in The Hours, in which she dons austere pre-war clothing and a prosthetic nose to look more like the tortured genius.

Ah well, we're told that people should suffer for their art, though looking like a female Gerard Depardieu might be going a tad too far...

Denise Van Outen

Denise plays

Roxie music

FOLLOWING her critical success playing the scheming Roxie Hart in the West End production of Chicago, Denise Van Outen is back treading the boards in April, taking the starring role in Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber's new musical, Tell Me On A Sunday. Ah, the smell of the greasepaint, the roar of the crowd...just like doing the Big Breakfast really.

England

Australia

JACKO

Make friends

THE barny continues between Jacko and Bashir, with the latter now claiming that the documentary simply showed Jackson as he is, and that if it makes the star think twice about his behaviour in the future then it is a good thing. Whether the documentary has done either of the men's careers any good is yet to be seen, but this backbiting really isn't helping, boys.