RADIO commentator Alan Green has the same effect on me as the test card. When he comes on, I switch off.

His repeated verbal assassination of referees is a disgrace.

Now we read he is at loggerheads with Radio Five Live colleague and national institution John Motson who, according to a broadsheet newspapers, offered Green a teamsheet at a recent match only to be told where to shove it.

You can't treat Motty like that. Well maybe you can if you think you're Mr Perfect.

Green evidently believes human beings should never make mistakes.

On two of the unfortunate occasions his opinions inflicted noise pollution in my car before I had time to switch off, he described one ref as "incompetent" followed a week later by giving his reasons for continually slaughtering referees. He said that, contrary to public opinion, he does not have anything against referees reasoning: "If referees didn't make mistakes I would leave them alone."

To err is human, the saying goes, but obviously this does not apply to Green who has a zero tolerance policy towards people making mistakes.

I have often wondered where he gets his script from and I believe I may have found the source. Channel Four's Frazier could hold the key.

The last but one episode of the best comedy of all time featured Frazier explaining why he is so outspoken. "If people weren't incompetent I wouldn't be so bossy."

The difference between Frazier and Green is that the TV show is meant to be a joke.