DOES anyone out there still cling to the belief that President George W Bush has sent thousands of American service personnel to the Gulf to get some much-needed R and R?

Or that the American naval armada is patrolling the 'Med' at the request of George Dubya's mate Tony Blair to stop potential asylum seekers on the first leg of their hazard-strewn journey from God knows where to God's own country: the UK?

Or that Mr Blair has sent a goodly proportion of Rule Britannia's fighting men and women -- except the ones still active at football matches -- to the same region of the Middle East to assess the effects of sustained exposure to sunlight and heat of 40 degrees centigrade, and inhalation of fumes from camel dung?

I don't think so. Nor do I believe that opposition from within or without, led by the cheese eaters across the Channel, will have much effect on George Dubya's avowed intention to topple Saddam Hussein. I think there will be war.

The trouble is events can very quickly overtake someone like me, commissioned to write a column on what I consider topics worthy of comment. For example, I'm writing this 36 hours before publication and the Yanks could be in Baghdad before the ink is dry!

On the other hand, there is a percentage of people out there who couldn't give a monkey's about what happens outside their own domestic and social boundaries. They must be the ones for whom tabloid editorial executives decide what is, and what is not, newsworthy.

One Sunday publication led its front page with the earth-shattering disclosure that Dannii Minogue had covered for sister Kylie so that the diminutive pop diva could enjoy a romp with 'sex hunk' Justin Timberlake after the 'Brits', the 'music' industry's annual awards ceremony.

Justin Who? I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The world is on the brink of World War Three and we are given an 'exclusive' insight into the Minogue sisters' nocturnal limo hopping and bed bopping. God help us all.

Similarly, television newsreels have been wheeling out experts on international affairs from the world of pop music, including Ms Dynamite and George Michael, who have colluded on a war protest song.

I would have been more impressed had either given a more authorititive reason than "I'm for love and peace and stuff. That's what I'm about" (Ms Dynamite) and "Mr Blair doesn't have the right to lead us into war" (Mr Michael).

I can't believe that Ms Dynamite, though stunningly attractive, would get much change out of Saddam Hussein with her peace and love message. Mysogony is probably high on his list of personality disorders. Consult George Dubya for an update.

As for George Michael, well I'm not going to labour the point that he might just have a downer against the LAPD and therefore be a tad anti-American. And sorry George, Tony Blair has a mandate to lead us to Hades if he so desires. He had a whopping majority at the last General Election.