THOSE of you of a nervous disposition, look away now. Put the paper down and go and watch Ant and Dec writes Mick Jones
I'm going to upset a few people and I don't mind. Some of you won't care but if your team lies outside the top flight, prepare to be annoyed.
The fact is, I'm sick of fans of "smaller" clubs trying to take some moral high ground about how much more loyal they are. After the results which a few Nationwide clubs managed in the FA Cup last weekend, the phone-ins were full of these people.
What a weekend it was, they said. It finally showed you couldn't describe the lower league as sub standard.
Is that right? If that's the case, why is it you're not in the top league then? The fact is, they'd sell their grandmother to watch their team play at Highbury or Old Trafford.
Have you ever spoken in depth to a fan of a lower league club? It's like speaking to someone who has found religion. They talk to you like you don't appreciate the game unless you watch 22 sub standard donkeys playing in a mud bath every week.
How can you be a proper fan if you watch a team that actually has international class players in it?
I once had a conversation at a party with a Lincoln City fan. The longer we spoke, the more wound up I got.
He wanted to know how I could be a proper fan when I supported such a big side. According to him, it was easy supporting my team. I didn't know what it was like to suffer. Not like him, anyway.
His team was very close to going bust and, when they ever managed to win a game, it was worth so much more than a win for my team. It wasn't a pretty sight when I finally snapped.
Now we all have triumph and despair. It may be for different reasons but it is a matter of where you stand.
Was the elation of a Carlisle fan as their goalie scored to keep them in the league in the last minute any less than that felt by a Wanderers fan when Kevin Nolan scored at Old Trafford? Or the United fan, as Solskjaer scored his late goal in Barcelona? Did the Port Vale fan feel any worse than the Leicester fan as they went down?
It's actually not as bad when you do support a small team. After all, the smaller the team, the bigger the smug, sanctimonious attitude.
These people really know what suffering is. Well, maybe not as much as someone who has to watch Liverpool on a weekly basis but you get the idea.
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