SORRY, Russell Crowe, I know you're making a big effort with your wedding plans and cleaning up your act, but we're not fooled.

If ever a man looked born to hell raise, it's you. And marriage to that sweet-looking Danielle Spencer probably won't change you.

Renovate your private chapel, be nice to her family, even practice looking wholesome. But give it a couple of months and, cynical though it sounds, even money says you'll be back in the gossip columns.