IT was the perfect weather for a barbecue. The sky was blue, the sun was shining -- and darned hot it was too -- so, in typical British fashion we decided it must be summer and therefore perfect for eating al fresco writes Karen Stephen
We rushed out, bought some new garden furniture, charcoal, veggie sausages/burgers/buns and the obligatory coleslaw that nobody ever eats and planned our son's first ever "cook-out".
While browsing round the DIY store -- it was Sunday, where else would we be? -- I noticed just how many people had embraced the sunshine and were sporting shorts.
The sight made me feel quite sad. Because these sun-deprived Brits had quite obviously squeezed themselves into summer attire that was way too tight -- and this ALWAYS happens.
Every year, as soon as the sun shines we race upstairs, blow the dust off the suitcase that houses our holiday wardrobe -- the one we last wore five years ago for our two weeks in Tenerife -- and we sque-e-e-e-eze into a pair of towelling shorts, a vest top and a sun visor.
The fact that our bodies are pasty white and our skin resembles a Jaffa orange in texture, does nothing to dampen our spirits. Eat your heart out J-Lo.
And this, I believe, is exactly what the woman in front of me at the DIY store said to her oversized reflection as she checked herself in the mirror before she went to buy her hanging baskets.
But I digress.
We had selected our new garden furniture and told our bored son that we were "going to have a barbecue at lunchtime".
Of course, this means absolutely nothing to a two-year-old, especially one whose favourite meal is Heinz veggie sausages and beans on toast.
So to witness his sad parents chucking food on a fire in the back garden and then expecting him to actually eat it can only end in disaster.
And of course it did. He wouldn't eat a single mouthful. He regarded his plate with disdain, he poked his food around as if it were covered in something the cat had deposited in her tray.
In fact, we gave his food to the cat and he, instead, tucked into that staple barbecue fayre of veggie sausages, beans and chips.
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