WITH reference to the two letters recently published from adopted children.

I would like to add my own feelings as a "real mother" of an adopted daughter.

After many heartbreaking years trying for a family, my husband and I decided to try and adopt a child. After a couple of years of interviews and medicals, we were advised that we had been successful and would go on a waiting list for a child. We waited about six months until that wonderful day when we picked up our five-week-old daughter.

A couple of months later we were seated in court chambers waiting for the judge to sign the adoption papers. He looked at us both, and said, " ... is now your legal daughter, take her home".

The words were "legal daughter", which I understand means we were her "real parents".

My daughter has always known that she is adopted, and I have always told her that if she wanted to find her birth mother, I would support her, as I am sure she must have questions about her own birth, after having two children of her own.

But she has always said that I am her mother, and she has had a happy life and has no interest in finding her birth mother.

Three years after adopting my daughter, I gave birth to another daughter, and they have both been brought up the same. They are treated and loved the same, and given the same support.

In fact, we forget at times that they have different blood because we see similarities between us all. They love and "hate" each other, just like sisters do, and will defend each other to the hilt if the occasion arises.

There are many reasons a woman gives up a child, but, whatever they are, they also give up the right to be the parents of that child.

I get upset when a child is referred to as an "adopted" son or daughter, or that a "real mum" is being sought, because the real mum is the one who has supported that child, nursed them through illness, worried when they are out late at night, watched them go on their first date, get married, have their own children and she will continue to watch over them.

As far as I am concerned, I am the "real mum" to both my girls, whether they are adopted or not.

(Name and address supplied)