A NEW season is nearly upon us and everything in the world is rosy writes our betting guru Gerry McDonnell.
Food tastes better, women seem more attractive and last season's disappointments are a distant memory.
For supporters of Arsenal and Middlesbrough, a season of glory and trophies awaits; while a relegation dogfight is on the cards for the supporters of Blackburn, Norwich and Crystal Palace.
Everything you need to know about your team's chances can be found in the following guide:
ARSENAL
Winners: 11/8 with Paddy Power / Victor Chandler
Relegation: 10,000/1 with BET365 / Totesport
Gerry's Prediction: 1st
Q: What do you get if you cross Thierry Henry, Robert Pires, Patrick Vieira, Jose Reyes, Sol Campbell and the best manager in the World?
A: The Premier League Champions.
ASTON VILLA
Winners: 250/1with General
Relegation: 33/1with Totesport
Gerry's Prediction: 5th
There is a player at Villa Park who is the difference between a top six finish and a top 10 finish, and the blessed Angel has signed a new four year contract.
With the Moore brothers, Allback and Carlton Cole challenging Darius Vassell to partner the great one, there will be one team in Birmingham scoring goals this year.
BIRMINGHAM
Winners: 400/1with Paddy Power
Relegation: 20/1 with Victor Chandler / Totesport
Gerry's Prediction: 14th
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
The word has spread that Bruce has signed Em Heskey.
Blues fans sing, Oh **** what a travesty.
Six million straight down the drain.
Instead of spending £6.25 million on Heskey, Steve Bruce would have been shrewder spending £100 on a metal statue, which he could place on the half way line. Although Heskey may score one or two more goals, the statue would be better at "one-twos" and would receive fewer bookings for simulation. Apparently, Gerard Houllier is still laughing now.
BLACKBURN
Winners: 1,000/1 with General
Relegation: 11/1with Victor Chandler
Gerry's Prediction: 18th
If Paul Dickov is your big summer signing, you're in real trouble. In Jonathan Stead they have a player of genuine promise, but most teams would take quality over promise any day of the week. Blackburn are destined for a season long fight against the drop, and Souness could well be hoping for a new series of Boys from the Blackstuff, as a career change may well be on the cards.
WANDERERS
Winners: 1,000/1with General
Relegation: 8/1 with Totesport / Bet Direct
Gerry's Prediction: 9th
Sam Allardyce has literally performed miracles at Bolton, after all, he made Michael Ricketts look like a footballer! In Jay-Jay they have a player of genuine world class who will inspire Bolton to equal last year's heroics, finishing the season in the top half.
CHARLTON
Winners: 750/1with General
Relegation: 11/1with Victor Chandler
Gerry's Prediction: 10th
Alan Curbishley continues to surprise many with the way he can create a team out of limited footballers. This season though, an added ingredient - quality. Dennis Rommedahl could prove to be the bargain of the summer. (If Emile Heskey is worth £6.25m, Rommedahl should cost £89.5bn.)
CHELSEA
Winners: 2/1with General
Relegation: 10,000/1with BET365 / Totesport
Gerry's Prediction: 2nd
What can you say? If they lose a game early on, they'll buy three more players. They're so rich they sign players and just give them to other teams. The only real threat to the Arsenal.
CRYSTAL PALACE
Winners: 7,500/1with Sportingbet / Super Soccer
Relegation: 4/9with Blue Square / Bet Direct
Gerry's Prediction: 20th
The ugly side of the game is represented by Iain Dowie and Crystal Palace - the bookies make the Eagles favourites to finish the season with the worst disciplinary record. Unfortunately, even with the fighting spirit Dowie has introduced relegation is an absolute nailed on certainty. It's a case of Eagles sore.
EVERTON
Winners: 1,500/1with Bet Direct
Relegation: 5/1with Skybet / Super Soccer
Gerry's Prediction: 17th
The French cruelly (but comically) named him McRooney, but Wayne is unquestionably a world class talent. If Everton sell their prize asset, they will be relegated; if he stays, mid table obscurity awaits our spherical headed hero.
FULHAM
Winners: 1,000/1 with Sportingbet
Relegation: 9/1with Skybet / William Hill
Gerry's Prediction: 13th
A year ago, Chris Coleman was the favourite in the sack race market; this season he is fully expected to lead Fulham to safety. However; having now lost Louis Saha and Sean Davis, Mr. Fayed will have to share his profits from the corner shop he owns, or it will be the Cottagers being sold down the river.
LIVERPOOL
Winners: 16/1 with General
Relegation: 2,000/1with Bet Direct
Gerry's Prediction: 6th
Rafael Benitez is the man with the near impossible job of reviving Liverpool's fortunes. His predecessor has helped him by offloading "Making Emile" Heskey, but hindered him by signing the similarly named (and similarly talented) Diouf and Diao. If Owen hits it off with Cisse, and if Gerrard maintains last season's form, Liverpool will do well. But once again; that's too many ifs.
MAN CITY
Winners: 1,000/1with General
Relegation: 8/1with Paddy Power / Bet Direct
Gerry's Prediction: 11th
Last season was a complete disaster for Keegan as his players let him down continuously. Robbie Fowler looked unfit and uninspired, while Anelka appeared to be regressing to his former self. This season though, expect King Kev to rotate (or replace) the strike force and he'll love it as the results improve.
MAN UNITED
Winners: 11/4 with General
Relegation: 10,000/1with BET365 / Totesport
Gerry's Prediction: 3rd
Man United are going backwards quicker than Michael Schumacher in reverse. Giggs is past his best, Rio Ferdinand will be lucky if he remembers to turn up for the game, Scholes has ginger hair and Alan Smith is a liability. If they can match last season's finishing position of third place, there will be dancing on the streets of London.
MIDDLESBROUGH
Winners: 300/1 with General
Relegation: 20/1with General
Gerry's Prediction: 4th
Steve McLaren appears to have made a dramatic change to his management style. Amazingly; Steve has discovered he is allowed to buy good players. JFH and Viduka are top quality and will score plenty of goals this season. When you add to the table Ugo and Southgate, clean sheets are as good as guaranteed. The surprise package of the season will be challenging for a Champions League spot.
NEWCASTLE
Winners: 66/1 with Ladbrokes
Relegation: 300/1 with Bet Direct
Gerry's Prediction: 7th
Newcastle are in Dyer straits; instead of challenging to be the best team in the country, Newcastle will not even be the best team in the North-East. Sir Bobby has proved that a fine Toon could be played on an old fiddle, but unfortunately, it's time to put the fiddle down.
NORWICH
Winners: 7,500/1 with Sportingbet
Relegation: 4/7 with Skybet
Gerry's Prediction: 19th
Darren Huckerby is back in the Premiership, but not for long. Norwich lack quality and face certain relegation. Delia Smith will sound like Gordon Ramsay come May.
PORTSMOUTH
Winners: 2,000/1 with General
Relegation: 5/2 with William Hill
Gerry's Prediction: 15th
If your Chairman has disposed of more Managers than he has razors, then arguing with him about the best way to bring the club forward is not good for your long term job prospects. If Harry does manage to stay on, he'll have a job trying to match last season's 13th place finish. In Yakubu and Lua Lua they have a partnership that will bring goals, but the omens are not good at Fratton Park.
SOUTHAMPTON
Winners: 2,000/1 with Sportingbet
Relegation: 8/1 with General
Gerry's Prediction: 12th
Paul Sturrock (it would appear) has replaced James Beattie with Peter Crouch. Now let me make this clear, I am not a football manager, I'm an odds compiler. I take no enjoyment from criticising others; it's simply not my bag (I don't even own a bag). But, this is the worst decision since Mick McCarthy asked "What do you think Roy?" Luckily, the quality of Kevin Phillips should keep Southampton out of a relegation battle.
TOTTENHAM
Winners: 400/1 with Sportingbet
Relegation: 16/1with General
Gerry's Prediction: 8th
The main problem with the Spurs squad is a lack of quality in the middle of the park. Jermain Defoe and Robbie Keane are strikers straight out of the top drawer, but if nobody passes them the ball, then they're about as effective as a Sven Goran Eriksson substitution. If Santini can resolve this, an improvement on last season's 14th place is a certainty.
WEST BROM
Winners: 5,000/1 with General
Relegation: 8/13 with Paddy Power
Gerry's Prediction: 16th
Of the three promoted teams, the Baggies are certainly the most likely to stay up. Add together previous Premiership experience, the quality of Jason Koumas and the fact that the Yam Yam's don't concede many goals, and what you get is a great bet at 6/4 on the Albion not to be relegated.
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