THERE is no denying that self-help books are big business. Long before that icon of singledom, Bridget Jones, made them trendy, these bibles of knowledge were filling bookshelves.

It seemed we couldn't make a decision without referring to the likes of The Rules or Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus. And it's getting worse. Whatever happened to gut feelings or good old common sense? Karen Stephen takes a look

REALISE that you may not meet Mr Right naturally and that you therefore must take social action immediately even if you don't want to.

Get a manicure and go out on another date or to that singles dance. . . Do something to increase your chance of meeting men.

This advice for single women comes from The Rules -- a the book which sells itself on the promise that, if you follow its governing statements, you should have no problem attracting the man of your dreams and getting him to marry you pretty darn quick.

The Rules was penned by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, who work from The Rules' headquarters in New York City. Their series of books, published by Warner, offers advice and tips on a multitude of man-bagging tactics like physical appearance, how to act on dates, how to write an ad and post the best photo of yourself if you're dating online, and -- and I suspect this is the all-important one -- how to get him to propose. Bingo!

Then there's the book written by John Gray -- Men are from Mars Women are from Venus -- which explains the differences between men and women to, er, men and women.

Mr Gray has also put his expertise into another self-help book -- The Mars and Venus Diet and Exercise Solution -- which throws light on the dilemma of why men and women need to do different kinds of exercises to keep fit, healthy and, above all, together.

But we must not jest. To merely witness how many these and other self-help books have sold is testament to how popular they are.

And there are some very informative ones around.

Take That Attitude Book, for instance.

Written by Heaton-based Graham Pepper, this pocket-sized book is aimed at students entering the job market, looking for work.

Graham, aged 56, says: "How many times do we hear someone say 'I'll never get that job' even before they have been for the interview?

"That way of thinking is incredibly negative, and constantly being negative can only bring negative results.

"This book shows how to stay positive in the face of all life throws at you by highlighting the things we do to make us worry and showing how worry can be avoided."

The book, formerly called Improving Self Image and Developing Positive Attitudes, is divided into two halves. Graham says its contents are "a distillation of personal experiences and over 16 years of research".

He explains: "In the first part I explore why negativity is prevalent in Western society and the effects it can have on people.

"Part two explores what is needed to remain positive in the face of life's negative challenges."

But shouldn't people's own common sense be enough to guide them through life without the need for a book to tell them what to do?

"Culture today promotes the idea that the pressures of modern living are too much without professional support and advice," says Graham. "It's like being told that life itself may be harmful, so great are the risks to our 'emotional health'.

"But self help books definitely have a place in society.

"There's nothing wrong in looking to something or someone for advice -- we ask a friend or relative, so why not consult a book?"

That Attitude Book has already sold around 700 copies and has been endorsed by more than 50 rather impressive names.

Dame Judy Dench said: "This booklet contains some very valid advice and should be compulsory reading for teachers and parents as well as students."

Sir John Harvey-Jones said: "My current experiences have taught me that the biggest obstacle to overcome in undertaking any endeavour is the actual one of belief that it is within one's grasp. . . Graham Pepper's booklet is an excellent aid in this direction."

Other endorsers include athletes Paula Radcliffe and Sir Steve Redgrave.

That Attitude Book is published by Inner Direction and is available from Amazon and Sweetens Bookshop, Deansgate, for £5.

The Rules and Men are from Mars Women are from Venus are available from bookshops nationwide.

SELF-HELP GURU: Graham Pepper, author of That Attitude Book

A helping hand could be just a click away

THE Internet is an excellent starting place for a journey into the field of self-help.

A quick search will reveal thousands of tips and ideas concerning everything from self-hypnosis to chanting and mantras.

Here are a few of the more unusual ideas. . .

Do you need to tell your partner that you are in love with someone else? Do you want a pay rise? With a copy of 101 Difficult conversations and how to have them, by Jenni Trent-Hughes, you should never find yourself in an awkward conversational spot again. With Jenni's help you will be able to stop putting your foot in it, and start handling tricky situations with tact and aplomb.

If talking your way out of trouble is not appealing, why not try belly dancing your way to success? Top belly dancer Amira Mor (www.amiramor.com) has several videos dedicated to helping you belly dance your way to energy, cardio-fitness and even to your soulmate. She also offers one-to-one classes if you are seeking "sexy improvisation that will mesmerise your lover".

Often the first step to helping yourself is acknowledging that you have a problem. The website www.anxietysecrets.com lists hundreds of possible phobias, and how to have fun in overcoming them. Whether it be arachibutyrophobia (a fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth), or lutraphobia (a fear of otters), this self-help site will help you to understand that your fear is really "a blessing in disguise".

If the problem is not quite so specific, then www.helpself.com might be worth a look. It contains fun quizzes to help you determine what you are doing wrong in life, and how to put it right. Examples include the spirituality test, the gender purity test and the "you vs your dog" mental health comparison.

Canine companions are often overlooked in the self-help arena, but not for much longer. If your pet seems a bit down then Healing the Canine Within -- A Dog Self-Help Companion is available on www.amazon.com. It deals with issues such as "overcoming the Lassie Complex", "how to avoid tennis ball dependency" and "how to read your owner like a book".

Even if your life at home is running smoothly, your life at work might have room for improvement. Maybe you are bored of your job, or maybe you just want more qualifications. A visit to the Learning Institute, www.inst.org, will open up a new world. The £345 fee covers a course in anything from Garden Design to full tuition in becoming a Private Investigator.

Self help doesn't just come in books, but also on CDs and cassettes. American band Marjorie Fair's latest CD, Self-Help Serenade, is described by the BBC website as "gentle, soft and comforting". Online music retailers www.amazon.co.uk also stock titles such as How to Cure Procrastination and Achieve your Goals in 12 easy steps. It costs £42.45 if you can get around to ordering it.

Finally, if none of the above are suitable, then try finding inspiration from those who have already made it. The website www.saidwhat.co.uk contains hundreds of quotes from great leaders and thinkers including Walt Disney, Churchill and Shakespeare. And it will not cost you a penny.