TV is suffering a summer slump. Ratings have fallen dramatically, and advertisers may have to be refunded.

If you want to know why viewers are turning off in droves, just catch any episode of EastEnders. I defy you not to lapse into a severe depression after five minutes.

The sets are drab, the characters unutterably miserable, and I've never seen a worse dressed bunch.

Top soap? Scrub it.