THEY still arrive with a binbag of hastily-grabbed possessions and with wide-eyed, bewildered children in tow.

More than 30 years may have passed since Fortalice - named from the French for "a place of safety" - first opened its doors to victims of domestic violence, but some things never change.

The original hostel, opened by Bolton Women's Aid, is now the charity's family support centre, with the main hostel elsewhere. This address is not publicised, for obvious reasons, and security includes CCTV and an absence of social visitors.

It is a sad fact of life that women will suffer violence for an average of seven years before trying to leave for good.

"Often," explains project manager Arlene Cochrane, "it's only when they see that it's affecting the children that they go."

She is one of the 14 full and part-time staff and eight volunteers at the hostel, which can accommodate up to 12 women and their children at any one time.

Each family has their own bedroom, but shares two lounge areas, two large kitchens, laundry room and six bathrooms.

The women can be referred to the refuge by any statutory or voluntary agency, or by ringing Fortalice directly, and they will always be encouraged to determine their own future.

Some stay for just a few days, while for others it is several months.

"When I first came here in 1982, a lot of the women went back to their partners," she says. "Now many more of them go on to independent lives."

What has changed is not just availability of accommodation, but the kind of help and support - including financial - open to them.

Society looks at domestic violence differently now, and so do the courts. Bolton's Domestic Violence Forum is made up of a large cross-section of representative individuals - from housing, probation and victim support to solicitors and the Crown Prosecution Service.

Unfortunately, the attitude of women themselves has often not changed.

"It's a matter of getting them to recognise that they are victims of abuse," says Arlene. "It may be a push or a shove, but it's intimidation.

"Yes, we do still occasionally get women arriving with broken bones, black eyes and bruising. But often they will have endured years of abuse before simply deciding that they won't take it any more."

At Fortalice, they find non-judgmental support and practical help on legal, housing and welfare issues. Refuge staff liaise with other agencies and departments to meet the individual needs of the families.

The women can be supported to achieve greater independence, and helped towards personal development. There is counselling on offer and educational and therapeutic activities, with, for example, a chance to learn computer skills.

The children may also need specialist help. They are often traumatised, and there are three qualified playworkers who use work books and other structured aids to help them through.

Play facilities are particularly important at Fortalice, because the mothers may need to keep a low profile and stay out of public places such as parks.

There is a well-equipped playroom, a ballpool and soft play area, and Children in Need has just given the refuge a £30,000 grant to replace its ancient metal playframe in the garden with a state-of-the-art metal and timber adventure system.

There is an after-school club, a youth club, a computer club and holiday activities. The latest additions include a group to encourage self-confidence and promote assertiveness without aggression, and a new project to help 12 to 15 year-olds with life skills.

There are also Kidz Meetings, where the children are consulted about their opinions and ideas and have a say in the hostel's future plans.

Funding is always a problem for this voluntary organisation. Currently, more money is needed for children's services: a vital area.

Voluntary help keeps everything going, including the 14 people on Fortalice's management committee. The Friends of Fortalice regularly hold fundraising events, and a patrons' scheme is about to be launched, asking individuals to pledge their financial support to the refuge.

Much as we may prefer to deny it, domestic violence is a daily reality for some women. And without the network of support in this unassuming building in an ordinary Bolton suburb, who can say what the human toll would be?

To contact Fortalice, phone 01204-523476. To find out more about the new patrons' scheme, contact Diane Davies on 0777-5903004.

FACTFILE

The 1998 Crime and Disorder audit report identified Bolton as having the highest number of domestic incidents reported to the police in Greater Manchester

One in four women will experience domestic violence within a relationship

The largest category of recorded assault is domestic violence - 80 per cent of these are cases against women

50 per cent of all female homicides are women killed by partners or ex-partners

100,000 women in the UK seek help from Women's Aid every year