ANOTHER job beckons and I feel I must apply. It's for a Non-traditional Activities Officer for South Tyneside Council and, apparently, people like me are uniquely qualified for it because we can still remember how to play leapfrog.

Yes, it does say that. After banning conkers, rounders and three-legged races in schools because of possible injury to participants (!) they are now realising that the old pastimes like tag, two ball and oranges and lemons actually gave children enjoyable exercise.

Unfortunately, because there is no Playstation game of leapfrog, they are having to rely on old codgers to remember how to play them. Hence the new job.

Not sure if the knees are still up to it, never mind the back, but I'm willing to give it a go.