Statisticians are not people you would file under "interesting company" when planning a dinner party. Nor would you consider them scary or alarmist. They are more likely to send you to sleep.

However, when those reeling off facts and figures are from the World Health Organisation, it pays to shut up, sit up and take notice.

By an odd coincidence, my wife and I were tucking into a chicken salad when the television evening news informed us, and the other watching millions, that the deadly bird flu, which has already caused 46 deaths in South-east Asia this year, could yet trigger a global pandemic which would kill millions.

One would have thought that region of the world had suffered enough grief to last the rest of this century but, no, there's another disaster looming on the horizon.

Representatives of the WHO - and I'm not talking Roger Daltry and Pete Townsend here, but medical scientists who used statistics to emphasise their warnings - said at least 50,000 would perish in Britain.

There were further disturbing facts and figures. Flu viruses constantly mutate, presenting medical science with ever-present challenges. A new strain of flu arrives every 30 years. In 1918 the deadly Spanish flu killed a mind-numbing 20 million people; similar pandemics broke out in 1957 and 1968. The current threat, H5Ni, starts in poultry but will spread rapidly once passed between humans. The virus will be carried by airline passengers, especially tourists, landing in the UK from South-east Asia. London's Heathrow Airport deals with 50 million arrivals each year. The most effective antidote is called Tamiflu, but until sufficient quantities are available, only one in four people will have access to it and they are certain to be front-line Health Service personnel.

The British government has not exactly been quick off the mark in securing enough doses of anti-bird flu medication. Mr Blair and his senior advisers have been more concerned with another round of anti-terrorist measures which will be useless if a pandemic erupts.

Better late than never, they have begun to stockpile medication, but one "expert" predicted it would take two years to complete the 14.6 million doses the government had ordered.

When I worked in night clubs, many years ago, in my other life, there was a comedy impressionist who did a brilliant skit on the then Labour Prime Minister, Harold Wilson. It was during one of the many times when national strikes were happening regularly in industry and our economy was looking decidedly dodgy.

The comic used to say, in Wilsonesque tones, with the trademark pipe in mouth: "I don't want you to worry too much about the present crisis, because I've got another one waiting for you."

People roared with laughter, which typifies the British ambivalence towards crises. However, if you have a chicken or hen which sneezes and coughs, or know someone who has started to cluck uncontrollably, give me a call and I'll share my full-strength garlic tablets with you.

Statistics indicate they are effective against most ailments. Why not bird flu?