I READ with delight Fred Shawcross's suggestion for a new political party comprised of people with old values.

I am sorry he has not as yet come up with a name for the party. Might I humbly suggest the OFFS Party - the Old Farts FOR Smoking. I would also like to suggest a few more ideas for their manifesto.

1. The return of corporal punishment and National Service.

2. We go back to old money. It it very difficult to come to terms with the fact that a large loaf now costs in the region of £1 in old money. My grandmother must be whirling like a dervish in her grave. We would also like to go back to fahrenheit and centigrade. It is hard to get excited about celsius when you dont understand whether you will freeze or boil.

3. Stocks are erected in public places and wrongdoers be placed in them prior to being locked up, then projectiles be handed to the public who have suffered in any way from their wrongdoing, such as people who have been mugged, burgled or are frightened to leave their homes. They will be allowed to inflict as much pain as possible on these miscreants.

4. The non-smokers who are so keen to be healthy will not be allowed cars in their half of the country. This will stop all the unhealthy fumes and poisons which are spewed out by the cars. They will also have much stronger legs.

I am sure that there are a lot more ideas I could have come up with, but my fag has gone out so I will have to go downstairs to relight it.

I wish Fred lots of luck with his new party, and would be grateful if I could be considered for Minister of Health.

Beryl Brockbank

Wigan Road

Deane