EL-HADJI Diouf can make you tear your hair out with his antics on a football pitch.

But the Wanderers' on-loan striker is far from alone when it comes to annoying things in football.

Paul Dickov and Robbie Savage can barely get through 90 minutes without courting controversy, while managers seem to live in cloud cuckoo land half the time.

Football is supposed to be the beautiful game but it is more like the irritating game as referees struggle to control ill-disciplined players, and fans are fleeced for every penny they've got.

Clubs annoy fans by questioning their loyalty when they can't afford tickets, fans irritate their clubs by demanding sackings and substitutions when things are going wrong on the pitch and referees seem to get on everybody's nerves.

Jose Mourinho is a breath of fresh air to some - but try saying that to the Liverpool fans he appeared to taunt at the Carling Cup Final.

Robbie Fowler regularly winds up fans, and other players, like Wayne Rooney and Alan Shearer, only need to walk out on to a pitch to spark a torrent of abuse.

Why do fans boo good players for no reason?

Everyone has their own pet hates about the game, those irritating aspects they wish would go away. Here's my hate list so far:

1 Fans with drums and trumpets.

2 Robbie Keane's silly celebration.

3 Placing of the ball outside the quadrant lines at corners.

4 Main goalscorers taking corners (Henry, Anelka, Hasselbaink etc).

5 Managers arguing with fourth officials - and fourth officials in general.

6 All mascots except Lofty the Lion.

7 Penalties counting the same as normal goals in goalscorer charts.

8 Music played after goals.

9 Players swearing at referees.

10 Referees not giving penalties when players are wrestled to the ground at corners.

11 Players made to leave the field after treatment.

12 Players unable to lift the ball over the first man at set-pieces.

13 Players not being the full 10 yards back at free kicks.

14 Footballers wearing earrings, headbands and tights.

15 Players kissing the badge.

16 Goalkeepers being over-protected by referees.

17 The phrase 'clean sheet'.

18 Atmosphere at schoolboy internationals.

19 Players retiring from international football.

20 Multiple substitutions in friendly internationals.

21 Players clapping referees when they get decisions.

22 Attendances at North-east clubs which fluctuate wildly depending on success.

23 Kick-off times other than 3pm and 7.30pm.

24 FA Cup draw on Monday afternoon.

25 Fans who take their shirts off in sub-zero temperatures.

26 Naming babies after players.

27 Choked up car parks.

28 Scandalous price of pints and programmes.

29 Losing football managers making excuses.

30 Squad numbers.

31 Linesmen being called referees' assistants.

32 Muffled loud speaker systems.

33 No replays of controversial incidents inside stadiums.

34 Referees who refuse to explain decisions after games.

35 And finally...Danny Mills squaring up to players, Cristiano Ronaldo's step-over, Jonathan Pearce's voice, Craig Bellamy, Howard Wilkinson, Kevin Keegan, Mike Riley and Delia Smith.