I HAVE come up with one or two more items which you may wish to add to Fred Shawcross' manifesto.

But before I start, I have been informed that Mr Brown's free bus travel is only during off-peak hours. Since most OAPs want to be at the shops when they actually open at 9am, this somewhat negates the free travel. However, he does gain one or two good marks from the later risers.

I have been asked by a couple of OAPs to suggest to you that we are issued with handguns and licenses at the Post Office when we pick up our pensions. We will then be allowed to shoot any burglars or scroats intent on harassment. Nay, they go further, it will be compulsory to shoot them.

AIl OAPs will have free TV licenses and sets with a million channels.

Queen's Park will be flattened, after the humane removal to a better place of the ducks, and turned into a new hospital for Bolton which everyone can get to without a car. The hospital at Farnworth will be left for people who live near to it.

There will be free tea and biscuits for the elderly during the hours of daylight at the Town Hall, and grandchildren will be allowed to accompany them, if they agree to be seen and not heard.

Finally, any person making enough noise to give a senior citizen a headache will be forcibly removed from the town and sent to Wigan.

This is the end of my latest missive, but l am sure there will be more. I am just waiting for the thoughts of other seniors to be drawn to my attention.

Mrs Beryl Brockbank

Wigan Road

Deane