DON'T you love Wimbledon fortnight?

It's normally a national triumph of optimism over reality for us Brits, with the side-effect of turning us all into armchair pundits or wannabe Maria Sharapovas.

We castigate players for not trying hard enough, serving badly, or having poor groundstrokes and abysmal tactics, probably without us ever having hit a ball in anger.

Perhaps more of us should get off our ever-rounding backsides and on to tennis courts - there are certainly penty of good local tennis clubs in the Bolton area.

Then, we might, just might, with months of practice and dedication, one day become almost good enough to stand on the same court as those professional players we comfortably criticise.