BRIANNA Ghey's mum has reflected on her daughter's murder trial, and the family's first Christmas since losing her.
On December 20, two teenagers were found guilty of murdering Brianna Ghey in Culcheth Linear Park on February 11 last year; she was just 16 years old when she was stabbed 28 times in broad daylight.
After an 18-day trial, a boy from Leigh and a girl from Warrington were unanimously found guilty of Brianna's murder - legal restrictions mean they cannot currently be named, but a judge will lift those restrictions next month.
Speaking exclusively for the first time since the trial at Manchester Crown Court, Brianna's mum, Esther, has reflected on the past 12 months, the murder trial, and Christmas without her daughter.
Esther spoke about her experience sitting through each day of the murder trial: "Sitting and listening to the trial was difficult, and for some of it I sat out. It was quite surreal, and I felt quite detached.
"For me, I wanted to be there every day, but I didn’t go to the pathologist days because Brianna was spoken about in an inhumane way.
"I felt like I needed to be there because I needed to know exactly what happened to her.
"I wanted to know exactly what she went through, and I wanted to go through it with her."
The mum-of-two added that she had concerns about whether one of the defendants would be found not guilty: "Before the trial started I had a very low point and had such a feeling of dread for the trial and the verdict was a feeling of relief.
"I had questions of ‘What if they are found not guilty?’ and ‘What if we have them back on the streets again and are able to commit a similar crime?’
"How premeditated it was and all of the planning that went into it, as well as having other children on a 'kill list' shows that there’s a problem with society - it doesn’t take the blame away from the two that have been convicted, though.
"I still have questions about how a teenager can be able to access the dark web."
Esther delivered a moving statement outside Manchester Crown Court after the teenagers were convicted of murder, in which she expressed a desire for people to show sympathy for the killers' families.
At the time, Esther said: "Please have some empathy and compassion for the families of the young people convicted of this horrific crime.
"They too have lost a child and must live the rest of their lives knowing what their child has done."
Now, Esther adds: "I have a lot of sympathy for their parents because they’ve had to sit there and listen to what their children have done and I don’t think anyone can imagine that their kid can be capable of that.
"I don’t carry any hate for [Brianna's killers] though, because that will only hurt me.
"I am concerned that both of them will be out [of prison] at some point, and I don’t think there’s a chance of rehabilitation for them from that."
She continued: "I’m glad that they’re being named now because they would have been named when they turned 18 anyway.
"The public has a right to know who they are."
Speaking about when the guilty verdict came through, Esther said: "It was a relief. When that came through it was a relief.
"I don’t like it when people say that justice has been done for Brianna.
"Brianna will never come home.
"The only way there could be justice for her is to turn back time and have her back home.
"It has been overwhelmingly sad, as well. It’s a situation that nobody who was involved in that court case wanted to be a part of."
Reflecting on the first Christmas without her youngest daughter, Esther said: "Christmas was quiet.
"We didn’t put up a Christmas tree this year, because we were at the trial from November, so the Christmas period has been a time to absorb everything and come to terms with it, and to heal, really.
"We’ve only got a small family, and we went round to my mum’s and had a quiet day."
In terms of the intense media attention that her family has received, Esther explained: "I’m glad that I got to read my statement after the verdict because it gave me the opportunity to give thanks to all the people that were involved in the investigation and the trial.
"The bit where I mentioned the other parents was because I wanted to show them that I don’t blame them.
"Wes [Esther's partner] finds media attention more difficult, and I think if someone comes round to the house then we both find it an invasion of privacy and neither of us like that."
Looking back over the past year, Brianna's mum said: "At the very beginning, that was the worst time of my life, and to be honest I can barely remember it.
"That must be my mind’s way of coping, to sort of block that out.
"Getting started with the Peace in Mind campaign helped to focus on something that was positive, and the fact that we’ve started this means that her death wasn’t for nothing.
"Her death cannot be for nothing and something good has to come out of a tragic situation."
Esther revealed that she wanted Brianna's case to go to trial so that people would understand more about what happened.
She said: "I wanted it to go to trial; I was glad because I wanted the story to fully come out and I wanted the severity to come out.
"Prior to the trial, the focus was on Brianna being trans, but after the trial the focus has been on the fact that she was a child who was brutally murdered.
"People are contacting me now with a deeper understanding and deeper empathy."
In terms of how she would like Brianna to be remembered, Esther said: "She would like to be remembered as she was – as the outgoing, fearless, funny, and beautiful girl that she was.
"She was absolutely one of a kind.
"That’s how she would want to be remembered."
Legal restrictions remain in place regarding the names of Brianna Ghey's killers - the restrictions will be lifted following a sentencing hearing on Friday, February 2.
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