Bolton: Mum, 35,opens up after breast cancer diagnosis

October is Breast Cancer Awarenss Month and Stacey Withington from Bolton has shared her story.

Before being told the difficult news Stacey, who lives in  Deane, had not long given birth to daughter Sophia via C-Section in June this year, all whilst completing her master’s degree in positive psychology.

Stacey started to become unwell early in the pregnancy and it was discovered that she had cholestasis, which she also had when pregnant with four-year-old Jamie, when she completed her degree in criminological and forensic psychology.

She said: “We were meant to be going to Walt Disney World to celebrate completing my degree, but we couldn’t go because I would have just given birth, so we moved it to later in the year.

“We were meant to go in September.

“When I had Sophia, I had a really traumatic birth and nearly died when I was in intensive care.”

Stacey and her partner Lee Wheelan have described their children as “blessings and miracles” due to Stacey being told from a young age that she couldn’t have children.

Stacey being as brave as she can (Image: Public)

After a short stay in hospital, Stacey was discharged, and Sophia was healthy, and mum started to heal well from the major surgery.

But 10 weeks after recovering from the emergency C-Section, Stacey noticed a lump in one of her breasts.

She thought she had blocked milk ducts because she wasn’t breastfeeding.

After around three weeks Stacey was advised to come straight to the doctors to be examined.

The doctor then found a further two lumps and put Stacey on an urgent referral to identify what they were.

Stacey said: “After the doctor did the examination he said, ‘We’re going to put you on the cancer pathway’.”

Stacey had an ultrasound scan and a biopsy on the breast because there was still something that the doctors weren’t happy with.

After waiting around a week for her biopsy results, Stacey was invited back to the hospital to discuss the results.

Stacey said: “On the morning I was meant to be going to the appointment I was told to not come to the Sunflower Suite, but to come to the Evergreen Suite as soon as I could.

“I just knew something was wrong.

“When we got there, they took us straight through and we waited in a room.

“A doctor and cancer nurse came in, who I didn’t know was a cancer nurse at the time.”

Stacey and her loving family (Image: Public)

That’s when Stacey and Lee found out the heart-breaking news she had Triple-negative breast cancer.

Stacey said: “We sat down, and I don’t remember how the conversation went.

“I just remember sitting down and they said some words.

“My partner Lee was crying his eyes out and I asked, ‘What happens now?’”

This came as a huge shock to Stacey, and her family have been “in bits ever since”.

Stacey’s oncologist has said that she will probably need a double mastectomy, which she says she thinks she will struggle to come to terms with.

But she joked she had “always wanted boobs growing up” and that she asked her mum when she was younger, when she would “have boobs like her”.

Stacey added: “In terms of image, I always wanted boobs since I was a little girl.

“So, when the time comes, I am going to struggle to come to terms with trying to see the positive.

“But I have to realise that my hair and boobs are not what makes me as a person.

“I have got a lot more to give.

“There is also the option of reconstructive surgery if I want it, and I probably will. want that.”

Stacey still has her humour (Image: Public)

There was no history in Stacey’s family, and she hadn’t seen anyone go through it before or the process up close, apart from hair loss.

Stacey added: “Because of the work I do as a counsellor, I found myself comforting them.

“I’m trying to get on with it.

“But on Saturday (October 1) my hair started to fall out more, and more came out.

“You feel like you’re losing a bit of your identity.

“It’s only hair and will always grow back, but it’s part of you, and you’re coming to terms with a new you.”

Stacey then decided to wear a beany styled head scarf, to help herself and her children come to terms with the diagnosis.

She is now waiting for a voucher from the NHS for the cost of the wig, so she has some form of hair.

Stacey said: “My little boy is only four and I wanted to let him in the room to touch and feel the wigs.

“He’s only young, so I didn’t want to scare him by just looking different.

“He told me the ones he didn’t like.

“It was quite nice to have him involved.

During some of her chemotherapy (Image: Public)

“I have always had long blonde hair, which has been part of me since I was a young girl.

“I never had the guts to cut or colour it any other colour.

“With losing my hair, it made me think how I could try different things to try and see the positives and see the light in things, rather than thinking ‘This is really bad’.”

Stacey admitted that some days are tougher than others, but after experiencing a lot of trauma in life, she has learned to develop a resilient attitude.

She said: “I have been really down and asked, ‘Why is this happening to me after everything’.

“But I am quite a resilient person and I have had quite a bit of trauma in my life.

“I’ve battled depression, and the traumatic births, and all sorts of stuff in life.

“I feel desensitised to trauma.

“When this happened, it was a big thing.

“Everybody thought I would break down and cry, but I did the opposite and wanted to know what to do next and how to get to the other side.

“But because I have not broken down crying, those closest have said ‘You have not processed this’.

“But I like to have hope, because it’s just me as a person.”

Stacey has since started vlogging her experience at hospital and how she has been feeling, with hopes of spreading awareness, particularly for young women, on Facebook.

Stacey added: “I thought it would just be family and friends but I have had people from all over messaging me who I don’t even know, saying how inspiring this is for them.

“It’s been quite nice because I feel like I am still helping someone somewhere.”

The family have since set a GoFundMe fundraiser up to help Stacey and her family focus on spending time with the children.

Stacey will not be receiving any sick pay due to being self-employed as a counsellor.

She has requested help from the Government, but they have stated that she is not entitled to any help.

Stacey said: “With two kids I don’t know how I’m going to get through as a family without any support from the Government because I am self-employed.

“I have always worked since I was 16 and never claimed any benefits.

“I never expected this to happen to me because no one in the family had been through it and I’m quite independent with money.”

During Stacey's graduation this year for her masters (Image: Public)

Stacey explained that with Jamie just starting school, he has been particularly challenging, and not worrying about money whilst going through chemotherapy, would be a huge help.

She said: “For me the funds mean I can be there for my kids and being able to give them what they need and give them the love and emotion, whilst helping them understand the process and not worry about money.

“I am relying on my mum and dad Gina and Sean who have helped when I have gone to chemotherapy or blood tests.”

Stacey began chemotherapy on September 13 and will have a different type of chemotherapy each week, for approximately five or six months.

After chemotherapy, she will undergo surgery for most likely a double mastectomy, and then onto radiotherapy.

To help support Stacey and her family during this difficult time, click here (www.gofundme.com/f/a7qmap-fighting-cancer).

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If you have a story and something you would like to highlight in the community, please email me at jasmine.jackson@newsquest.co.uk or DM me on Twitter @JournoJasmine.