Three times a baby

It can happen to anyone, whether after fertility treatment or naturally.

One Bolton mum who knows all about the hard work - worthwhile though it is - involved in having several children is Lorraine Gordon, who gave birth to triplets almost two years ago and already had a daughter.

Lorraine had not undergone fertility treatment and was surprised - probably better described as shocked - to discover she was expecting triplets.

Since the triplets were born her life has changed almost beyond recognition. Cooking, washing and meal preparations tripled overnight and the family's Moorside Avenue home is a daily hive of activity. Lorraine and husband Ian have to be organised to cope with triplets Callum, Emily and Adam, as well as six-year-old Megan.

Shopping is a major expedition. "Our supermarket shopping trips take two hours because the triplets are always trying to get out of the trolley seats," said Lorraine.

Although I have no children of my own, I can relate to the trials and tribulations of big familes. I grew up with two brothers - twins just a year older than me - and a younger sister. I still enjoy the stories my mother tells me about pushing a triple buggy up our steep hill while pregnant with a fourth child.

Sticking with the triple buggy, and it would seem that public transport isn't exactly designed with multiple mummies in mind.

According to my mum, we were OK to travel on trains because as a family we were allowed to use the "special carriage" where you put your bikes - there's nothing like travelling in luxury.

And if pushing a DIY three-seated pram - two buggies fixed together with brackets as McClarens refused to supply my mother with a triple - around the city wasn't enough, spending every night soaking re-usable toweling nappies in a bucket of solution, while your other half has fallen asleep at the local pub, is apparently all in a day's work for multiple mothers.

As your sleepless nights spent at the cot-side of one are starting to wear thin, you should thank your lucky stars that you're not comedian Jackie Clune who went for a routine scan only to discover she was expecting triplets.

Her new book Extreme Motherhood, will appeal to anyone who finds themselves in a similarly unusual situation.

So, how should parents prepare themselves for this drastic shift in family size?

Hollywood star Julia Roberts, who despite being a mother-of-twins (and expecting a third child), always seems to look elegant and composed.

She said that while she was pregnant with her twins, Phinnaeus and Hazel, she never felt sick, attributing her good health to coming from "hardy" Southern stock.

But it isn't always that easy.

According to Susan Baines, founder of Bolton business Pregnancy2Parenting: "When a woman discovers she is pregnant with more than one baby, her initial feeling of elation may very soon give way to ones of apprehension and anxiety. She may demonstrate negative or ambivalent feelings towards the whole concept of pregnancy as a result."

Naturally couples start to worry about the financial strain, the living space and, of course, the pain of labour. And although generally most mothers cope with the demands of a multiple birth, Susan says: "We have heard of a few instances where mothers have struggled to come to terms with their new and instant family. In the main, this is because they have not had continuity of care from maternity services; they have not been empowered and have therefore not been able to develop their confidence."

Confidence and empowerment are central to enabling effective parenting. Absorbing the sensitive and appropriate advice and support being offered to you can only build on your multiple mothering skills. Also, "women need to be told how clever and special they are to have birthed two or more babies," says Susan. Women need also to have their feelings acknowledged and reassured that they are absolutely normal. They also need to be reassured that the pain associated with birthing multiples is not generally any different to that of birthing a singleton.

At Pregnancy2Parenting they advise any couple who have just found out they are expecting a multiple birth to engage with their carers, GP, consultant and midwife as soon as they can. Establishing early contact with a midwife is especially important as continuity of care and carer allows an effective relationship to be established.

On building a rapport with the local health advisors, it is then recommended that you need to know that all the normal physiological adaptations to pregnancy, which used to be called minor disorders, will generally be exaggerated. For example, nausea and vomiting in early pregnancy can become more troublesome and protracted. Knowing this from early on can help both partners to consider coping strategies by undertaking their own research.

Then there is the issue of rephrasing the term "normal pregnancy" and re-classifying it to "high risk". This, sadly, according to Susan, "tends to perpetuate the mother's anxiety throughout the pregnancy."

This is when Pregnancy2Parenting would advise the mother and her partner to engage in relaxation therapies antenatally - therapies such as yoga and massage.

And finally your rights as the parents. Susan says: We would further add that women having twins should not be railroaded into having planned Caesarean sections; there is no current evidence to say that a vaginal birth is an unsafe option." She goes on to say: "Maternal choice is an essential ethical and legal issue; the couple should feel in control at all times and be able to demonstrate their personal autonomy."

So to all multiple mothers, either expecting or mothering twins, triplets or quads, remember that your bundles of joy are nothing short of a miracle.