I’VE been on my own at home this week.

No other half to look after me. Having to sort out my own meals. Having to feed the cat. Having to do my own washing.

It’s been awful. I’m joking, of course. It’s been pure bliss.

It goes without saying that I love my other half dearly – we’re buying a house together and getting married next year – but it does no harm once in a while to spend a bit of time apart does it?

Over the years, I’ve grown very accustomed to doing things my own way.

It’s probably something to do with being the only boy in the family – i.e. I’ve been spoilt rotten.

I’m very particular about tidiness – other people’s but not my own. So I get very annoyed about my fiancée’s clutter – shopping bags, shopping receipts, clothes tags, make-up and toiletries etc being left here there and everywhere.

But I fail to see the hypocrisy of my own mess – pots and pans, dirty trainers, clothes on the floor.

So when left to my own devices for four days – with Nic working in London – the house has become a tip while I have slobbed out on the sofa with the curtains closed watching whatever I want on telly and eating whatever I want for tea (why do women like broccoli so much?).

Dirty plates have slowly but surely stacked up next to the dishwasher (what is it that makes it so hard to carry out that final act of just putting your pots in the dishwasher?), there are DVDs are all over the place, and the Glade plug-ins are struggling to mask the musk of a week spent indoors.

I’ve not been completely alone. Regular readers will know of my regular battles with the cat – but we’ve been getting on fine. I think she’s been enjoying her week too. At least she’s not been bothering me too much, anyway.

Like any self-respecting woman, Nic left me with a list of jobs to do while she was away.

And of course, like any self-respecting man, I have largely ignored it and now, at the time of writing, and with her arrival back home imminent, I am frantically trying to make the house look respectable and figure out some good excuses as to why I haven’t done any of my tasks. She’s going to kill me.

I’ll let you know how I get on next week. That’s if I’m still alive.